Larry H's Movie Reviews for 2009
Index of Movies:
Me and Orson Welles | The Cove | Nine | Avatar | An Education | Sin Nombre | The Lovely Bones | Up in the Air | A Serious Man | Brothers | Invictus | Precious | Fantastic Mr. Fox | The Messenger | The Road | Where the Wild Things Are | 2012 | The Blind Side | New Moon | Food, Inc. | The Box | The Men Who Stare at Goats | This Is It | Amelia | Couples Retreat | The Invention of Lying | Fame | I Can Do Bad All By Myself | Extract | The Time Travelers Wife | (500) Days of Summer | Inglourious Basterds | District 9 | The Hurt Locker | Julie and Julia | Blame it on Kumar | Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince | Bruno | Public Enemies | Year One | The Hangover | Away We Go | The Taking of Pelham 123 | Land of the Lost | Up | Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian | Rudo y Cursi | Star Trek | X-Men Origins: Wolverine | The Soloist | State of Play | Observe and Report | Monsters vs. Aliens | Duplicity | Race to Witch Mountain | Watchmen | Madea Goes to Jail | Paul Blart: Mall Cop | The International | Taken | The Wrestler | Revolutionary Road | Gran Torino | Marley and Me | The Reader
Me and Orson WellesWhat a great title! The "Me" is a 17 year old actor named Richard Samuels (Zac "High School Musical" Efron) who has the Broadway bug and the proverbial happenstance meeting with the great actor/director Orson Welles (Christian McKay). The Big Man is working on a Shakespearean production of "Julius Caesar" on Broadway in 1937 and casts the young Richard as Lucius.
That sounds like a dream come true for the lad but he must remember that he is dealing with the Big Man who has a bigger ego than Tiger Woods and a libido to match. Of course, there is a young actress (Claire Danes)in the mix who likes Richard but she is willing to do anything to further her career and if sleeping with the Big Man is part of the deal, then so be it.
The big winner in all of this is Christian McKay who will probably garner a Best Actor nomination for his portrayal of the legendary Orson Welles. That will be big in his career. And if Larry H. says "big" one more time in this review we will have to jerk his membership pin. Roles like this come along only once in an actor's career if they are lucky. McKay made the most of it.
The story jumped around way too much for me and I didn't like any of the characters. They were all backstabbing, conniving twits without charm. I have fond memories of the real Orson Welles and I, too, was blinded by his talent and charisma. His film career began in 1934 and he died in 1985, but he will forever be remembered as Charles Foster Kane in the 1941 movie "Citizen Kane."
I don't think the Big Man (oops) would have approved of this version of a slice of his colorful career. This little diddy is a good candidate for late night AMC Channel 57 or Netflix if you need to fill your quota for the month. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 72. Larry H.
The CoveAccording to the Houston Film Critics Society, this the best documentary film of 2009. I think it's the second best; "Food, Inc." is the best.
The film is very well done and I remained interested throughout and was pulling for the dolphins and I'm not particularly a dolphin man. The story is developed for the screen by a group of dedicated, professional activists who are led by world-renown dolphin trainer Ric O'Barry.
O'Barry was the guy that trained Flipper that started the immense popularity and awareness of dolphins. I liked the Flipper TV series and movies. O'Barry openly laments his involvement in creating the frenzy about dolphins and the resulting profit motivation that came about due to Flipper's popularity.
The problem was the result of an untended consequence: capturing a few dolphins for training purposes and commercialization and that exploded into an industry that kills and captures thousands of dolphins annually. And O'Barry is sick about the current slaughter and treatment of dolphins and his obvious pivotal part in that he started it.
The "cove" that is the centerpiece of the film is located in Taijii, Japan, where dolphins are plentiful and routinely sold or mutilated. The good guys secretly film and document these events much to the consternation of the local fishermen and cops who try to thwart them at every turn.
This film is emotional and serious and brilliantly makes its point. This is a significant film. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 88. Larry H.
NineO' "Chicago" where art thou? Rob Marshall directed the highly acclaimed and Oscar winning film "Chicago" (2002) and it is one of my favorite musicals of all time; I loved it. I have the CD Needless to say, when I heard that Marshall was directing another musical starring Daniel Day-Lewis as the wild and whacky film director Guido Contini, I was amped.
Also starring is Marion Cotillard as his young wife Luisa, his very, very hot mistress Penelope Cruz, Nicole Kidman as movie star Claudia, Kate Hudson as the singing and dancer starlet, and throw in Dame Judi Dench and Sophia Freakin Loren. And everybody sings and dances and has a good time. Can't miss; no way! Wrong Chicago Breath!
All that talent and semi-good music; not toe-tapping but better than chump and surely this is a great movie. Wrong Beatles Breath! Wrong Movie Maven! Wrong, wrong, wrong. This ain't right to have so much talent and a big-budget film and miss the mark. The Golden Globes nominations are wrong, but they are the Foreign Press so what do they know.
Man, making movies is a tough business. And did I mention Anthony "The English Patient" Minghella, who died in 2008, co-wrote the screenplay? Oh well, at least I didn't go to sleep, but I came close. I was fidgeting in my seat so much that my comfortable theatre chair was squeaking.
I saw this movie at a screening at the Marq*E on I-10 on the evening of December 8th, so I put out a big effort. As soon as the Christmas movie season settles down, I will get back to my Friday afternoon movies which is where I belong. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 74. Larry H.
AvatarMovies will never the be the same after James Cameron's "Avatar" has fine-tuned the delivery of cutting-edge digital 3-D and done so in a tremendously fun story that cost anywhere between $300-$500 million depending on the source. What the heck is an avatar? An avatar is a human-alien hybrid that is controlled by the human's brain through a "driver" that is linked to the Avatar body that is three meters tall with a tail and sparkling blue skin. If that doesn't pique your interest then you should not see this movie.
But you will see this movie, by January 1st, there will only be two kinds of people on this earth: those who have seen "Avatar" and those who have not but plan to see it. This movie is the grandchild of "Star Trek" and "Star Wars" only more sophisticated. It has the intrigue of "Jurassic Park" but its better. The lead character is a combination of John Wayne, Rambo, and the Last of the Mohicans.
There were only two: George Lucas and Steven Spielberg. Now there are three and that list includes Crazy Jim Cameron. Cameron has not made a movie since his hugely successful, Oscar-winning "Titanic." Where's he been? Oh, doing crazy stuff that only Jim understands and working on the script and production of this masterpiece.
This is extraordinary movie-making. It is two and half hours short and I knew immediately while watching it that I was in the presence of greatness. There was so much information being spewed out on the big screen that I could only try to keep up and hope that I was getting the gist of the story with the welcome thought that I would be able to see this movie many times and savor the nuances. It was entrancing, powerful and poignant. I loved it.
I am predicting that there will be north of ten nominations so long as the academy does not become too jealous of James "I'm on top of the world" Cameron. Here are a few of the preeminent areas of note: cinematography, costumes, special effects, makeup, editing, sound, music, directing, screenplay, and acting.
I hesitate bothering to mention the story of the moon Pandora where the Na'vi people live and the earthlings show up to cause harm to these seemingly loveable "savages" who live in harmony with their beautiful yet terrifying jungle. Their main weapon is a bow and arrow and the humans are armed with very advanced weaponry and greed.
Rarely do we get a chance to see a movie of this magnitude and I encourage everyone to see it for themselves. I saw it on a Thursday morning at the Marg*E and was surprised that we were given 3-D glasses. Who knew? There's been so much secrecy surrounding Crazy Jim's big movie that I heard it might be in IMAX or 2D or whatever. But I can assure you that this movie is a privilege and a delight in any format. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 95. Larry H.
An EducationThis was a complete sleeper to me. Friends recommended this movie because they thought Carey Mulligan turned in an Oscar-worthy performance. I was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt so I sat down to watch this British story of a 16 year old girl circa 1961 fall in love with an older man and possibly forgo her plans to Oxford.
This is why we should listen to our friends. Ms. Mulligan's performance made me reassess my vote for Best Actress. Currently, my vote is going to Carey Mulligan for her portrayal of Jenny the student in an all girl high school in England who has "class...beauty...and cleverness."
Her wide range of emotions from the naïve teenager to the sophisticated young woman who went to jazz clubs and dog races as well as overnight trips to Paris with the "older man" was superb. Glad I saw it. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 90. Larry H.
Sin NombreI am not a big fan of Foreign Films because I'm intimidated by subtitles; afraid I won't get it. And I was not going to watch this one but some of my new-found film critic friends shamed me into it. Allegedly, a real film critic watches foreign films. Well, we all know that I'm not a real film critic; I just play one on the internet.
This movie was a pleasant surprise. I enjoyed it from start to finish. It is a very simple story of gang violence and young love but told in a loving, suspenseful manner.
El Casper is in love with Martha Marlene but keeps it a secret from his Honduran gang for fear of harm to his brash lover. Casper participates in a violent initiation of a young boy who the gang names El Smiley. The leader of the gang, Lil Mago, accidently kills Martha and casually tells Casper that he can get another girlfriend. Casper is devastated but cannot show his emotions in front of the gang.
Meanwhile, the audience is introduced to a Honduran family that is riding the train with other immigrants who are in search of the good life in the US. Casper in on the run from the gang and ends up on the train with the immigrants and becomes inadvertently involved with a beautiful naïve teenager named Sayra.
This is a low-budget movie that cooks. In spite of limited resources, Writer/Director Cary Fukunaga demonstrates that he has the skill to make a movie that communicates those elusive feelings of compassion, fear, desperation, violence, hope, and love. I watched this movie on a screener DVD and stayed up until 1:00 a.m., so it had to be a pretty darn good movie in order to keep me up that late. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 90. Larry H.
The Lovely BonesThe bones were not lovely. "I was murdered on December 6, 1973," is the explanation by the precious 14 year old Susie Salmon (Saoirse "Atonement" Ronan). The screenplay is adapted from the book by Alice Sebold and it is set in a quiet town in Pennsylvania before lost children's "faces appeared on milk cartons."
Much of the movie is from Susie's perspective from heaven or more appropriately the "Blue Horizon". As she watched her murderer continue with his life next door to her parents and brother and sister, did she influence the earthly events? Or did she merely suffer from her memories and anxiety of her terrible grief. And the grief by her parents was gut-wrenching.
Susie is brutally murdered on the way home from school by the creepy next door neighbor George Harvey (Stanley Tucci). Tucci's makeup and costume disguised his well-known face and features and will cause some to fail to identify him. However, I knew the despicable character was Stanley Tucci and still could relate to him because Tucci's performance was off-the-chart good. He is one of my frontrunners for Best Supporting Actor.
The movie is riveting and intriguing but Director "The Hobbit" Jackson took me down too many paths that I did not want to go. I don't care if he followed the book or not; I did not enjoy the movie on any plane other than witnessing evil in a spooky presentation. I give Jackson high marks for movie-making but the entertainment level of movies is all about me and I was not entertained.
The highlight was the acting. Tucci set the bar high, but Susie's parents Mark Wahlberg and Rachel Weisz were up for the task as was Grandma Lynn played by Susan Sarandon. But as I've said many times, "great acting" can not save a story that does not equally support the characters. Perhaps I should not go to these kinds of movies; and perhaps you should not go to these kinds of movies, either. And I will never watch it again.
Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 84. Larry H.
Up in the AirI saw this movie at a screening at AMC Studio 30 on November 30th and had very high hopes since this is the Oscar buzz season and there is much jockeying for position because even a nomination equates to millions much less an actual Oscar. And this is yet another George Clooney movie and I just saw his character voiceover in "Fantastic Mr. Fox." I've heard that famous Clooney baritone so much lately that I'm hearing it in my sleep.
But I'm ahead of myself. Since I saw this flick on a Monday night and being the romantic that I am, I decided that this would be date night and took the lovely Monique H. Before we arrived at the movie, I took her to dinner at Chick-fil-A and made sure that she had a three course meal. I like for my date to be satisfied and fully engaged in the evening so I did not want to spare any expense.
Upon arriving at the theatre, I broke with tradition and ordered a Sprite and not Mr. Pibb. And popcorn. Now here comes the rub: I'd had a head cold and some might think I was still contagious and Monique H. was one of those doubting my health status, so instead of sharing popcorn as we've done for 28 years, she wanted her own container to prevent eating popcorn that I had touched. I offered to buy her a separate small bag, but she preferred a cup. Being the loving date that I was, I requested an empty drink cup and we sprinkled some popcorn into her cup to ensure good hygiene. This is a sign of a good marriage; I think.
"Up in the Air" stars Clooney as Ryan Bingham who fires people for a living. Since the economy is down, his company's business is booming. He spends 270 days a year on the road and likes it. Going back to his one-room apartment in Omaha, Nebraska, is misery to him. He's never been married and has no kids and little contact with his two sisters who are his only family.
He is a very skilled traveler and has all the credit cards and customer upgrades that allows him to cut in airport lines and move efficiently to the next place of doom where he expertly delivers the bad news that "your job is no longer required...all the answers to your questions are in this packet."
Clooney's character is proud of his work and refers to it as an "industry."
Enter the young college graduate (Anna Kendrick) who convinces the company that the cost of travel is too expensive and should be replaced with video firings over the internet. Ryan Bingham is not happy about this new method so his boss (Jason Bateman) sends him on the road with Kendrick. Kendrick is also busy this year as she is Jessica in the "Twilight" series.
Bingham has no apparent meaningful relationships except an occasional one night stand with Alex (Vera Farmiga) who lives out of a suitcase, too, and has almost as many frequent flyer miles as Bingham. Who is Vera Farmiga? When you see her, you will say "oh yeah, I know her" but not sure where you've seen her. After this movie, you will have seen more of her than you've seen in the past unless you've seen her in the nude. Alex and Ryan seem to have an understanding that their relationship is merely a casual convenience.
Director/Screenwriter Jason Reitman fumbled the ball in the first half of this movie and then made a comeback in the second half by keeping the ball and Clooney "Up in the Air." It is unusual for a movie to have such a slow, labored start and finish strong but that's what happened for me. And while Clooney turned in one of his routinely accomplished performances, this is no Oscar feat. The big winner is Ms. Farmiga and to a lesser extent Ms.
Kendrick who performed admirably outside of her vampire gig.
Monique H. and I had a good time and isn't that what's important? Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 89. Larry H.
A Serious ManThis is a Coen Brothers film so it is by definition worth seeing, but it is no "Fargo" or "No Country for Old Men." It is a black comedy set in 1967.
The main character is a Midwestern college professor named Larry Gopnik (Michael Stuhlbard) who is decidedly simple and frumpy. And his life is a mess. He even wears "high-water pants." How come the goofy guys are named Larry? Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 81. Larry H.
BrothersThis movie opened Friday December 4, 2009, at local theatres, but I could not attend due to a new rule: Never, ever go to a movie while it is snowing in the Texas Gulf Coast in December. I was mesmerized by the falling snow yesterday and spent a lot of time gazing outside and did not want to sit in a theatre and miss one of nature's great shows.
I got up before breakfast this sunny Saturday morning and was ready to make the 10:45 am showing of "Brothers" at AMC First Colony. As I sauntered out of the parking lot, I noticed there was still snow on the concrete benches near the fountain. We've had more snow so far this fall than Chicago; now that's whack.
Two brothers: Toby "Spider-Man" Maguire is Captain Sam Cahill who is about to deploy to Afghanistan and Jake "Brokeback Mountain" Gyllenhaal plays Tommy Cahill who has just been released from prison. Captain Sam is married to the beautiful Natalie Portman and they have two kids.
Jake/Tommy takes his shirt off while the opening credits are still rolling.
While the hero, perfect child Marine Captain Sam is in Afghanistan, things go badly for him over there and his wife and family are informed that he is dead. Brother Tommy steps in to help his brother's wife remodel the kitchen and lovingly plays with the kids. Tommy even makes amends to a victim of one of his crimes. Uh oh, this is not going well for Captain Sam.
All three of the stars performed superbly and Director Jim Sheridan produced a solid story which was interesting and heart-felt. Is this a great movie?
No, but it is entertaining and was a treat for a Saturday morning. You should go see this movie, but the competition is tough since the big guns are coming out for the Christmas crowd and the Oscar buzz.
This film is not for kids and I am giving this warning because I saw a woman with three small children at this movie and I wanted to ask her if she was insane. I have to go now because there are great football games on TV today and I think I'm getting sleepy. Rock 'n Roll
Grade 89. Larry H.
Note: I've seen "Invictus" and will be emailing my review soon.
InvictusClint has hit a grand slam. This film is another work of art by 79 year old Director Clint Eastwood. Some of his greats: "Unforgiven" "The Bridges of Madison County" "Mystic River" "Million Dollar Baby" "Flags of Our Fathers" "Gran Torino" and now we can add "Invictus."
Will "Invictus" win Best Picture? Probably, maybe, well let's wait until we've seen all the movies. But an early bet on the story of Nelson Mandela's first term as President of South Africa in the early 90's should be a safe bet.
The backdrop is apartheid that left South Africa badly torn between races but somehow managed to survive long enough to democratically elect Nelson Mandela as President of the government that had imprisoned him for 27 years.
The movie begins on February 11, 1990, which was the day of his release from prison.
When Clint was in the early stages of developing this project, one of his first major decisions had to be the choice of actor to play Mandela. I suspect it took him a nanosecond to choose Morgan Freeman. Freeman and Eastwood have had enormous success in collaborations in the past including "Unforgiven" and "Million Dollar Baby." In those two movies, Freeman was second banana to Clint, but this time he is the big dog. And he looks uncannily like Mandela.
But looking like Mandela is not the thing that will earn him a nomination and frontrunner to win Best Actor. It's his acting; plain and simple. Freeman was born for this part. We've known for a long time that Morgan Freeman was an accomplished actor, but now he will have the gold to prove it. His speech pattern, mannerisms, and presidential presence were stupendous. This is a remarkable movie in large part because of Freeman's memorable performance.
In the movie which appears to be historically accurate, Mandela took office at a time when the racial tension and distrust were extreme. As great leaders sometimes do in tough times, he looked for an "out-of-the-box" approach to mend decades of hurt. He found the answer in the South African rugby team which was dominated by white players and despised by most blacks. The team was led by its captain Francois Pienaar played masterfully by Matt Damon. Damon has an outside shot at Best Supporting Actor but is overshadowed by Freeman.
In 1995, South Africa was the host of the Rugby World Cup. I know rugby is not football but much of the world is fanatical about its rugby team and it is huge in South Africa. The South Africa National Rugby Union team is the Springboks and you will see guys in the stands with "Bokke" painted on their chests. Don't be misled by the use of one of the team's nicknames.
Part of Clint's genius in storytelling is his employ of dynamic camera angles and dramatic editing to increase suspense and to make a point. My interest never waivered. The movie is 134 minutes and left me wanting more.
And there will be other accolades for Adapted Screenplay by Anthony Peckham based on the book "Playing the Enemy" by John Carlin; Best Original Score by Kyle Eastwood and Michael Stevens, and Best Original Song "Colorblind."
So, what about the title "Invictus" which is Latin for "unconquered?" The title is taken from a short poem by William Ernest Henley first published in 1875. The poem is quoted my Mandela: "I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul." And my quote is: Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 94. Larry H. This movie was screened by Larry H. on Dec 4, 2009
PreciousThis is a very powerful movie about a dramatically overweight, illiterate teenage girl (Precious) who lives in Harlem and is pregnant with her second child. Her life is defined by abuse, poverty, hatred, rape, sadness, bewilderment, humiliation, and hope.
The actual title of the movie is "Precious: Novel based on Push by Sapphire." The title character is played by newcomer Gabourey Sidibe who was remarkable and believable. The cast of Paula Patton, Mo'Nique, Mariah Carey, Lenny Kravitz and a gang of talented teenage classmates was marvelous.
I had difficulty watching the film because it is so gut-wrenchingly sad at times yet I had empathy and understanding for all the main characters. Young Ms. Sidibe might get a nomination, but Mo'Nique as Precious' abusive mother and Paula Patton as her loving teacher were my favorites and hopefully will be nominated for Best Supporting Actress.
Kudos to Director Lee Daniels who took a seemingly simple story and created a work of art that will be one of the memorable films of 2009. Daniels and the movie should also garner a nomination. I tried not to see this movie because I just didn't want to engage the obvious sadness depicted in the trailers, but I'm glad I took the plunge; it's an important movie. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 92. Larry H.
Fantastic Mr. FoxAnimation these days are not cartoons of old. This movie by Director/writer Wes Anderson is beautifully produced and extremely well written. Anderson adapted the screenplay from the novel by Brit Roald Dahl who once flew for the R.A.F. in WWII.
My repeated reaction while watching Mr. Fox was: "wow, this is really clever...and well done." I was not familiar with the novel so the story was new to me. Mr. Fox (George Clooney's voice) gets in trouble with some of the local farmers because he steals their chickens even though he had promised his wife (Meryl Streep's voice) many years ago that he would stop such dangerous behavior. These farmers were very serious and attacked with guns, bombs, and bulldozers.
I saw this jewel on an early Saturday evening and the crowd was lively and had a fair amount of kids who all needed Daddy to take them to bathroom. But the audience laughed and giggled throughout. Example of cleverness: no bad words were uttered instead the dialogue went something like this - "get the cuss back or that scared the cuss out of me." I am assuming that Fighter Pilot Dahl came up with the unique method of "cussing" but Anderson capitalized on it.
I thoroughly enjoyed my 87 minutes at the flicks and you will, too. This is not just for kids. Do yourself a favor in the midst of these gloom and doom movies and go see how fantastic Mr. Fox is. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 89. Larry H.
The MessengerIt's the day before Thanksgiving and I'm sitting at my desk having just finished watching "The Messenger" on my office DVD player. I'm beginning to like watching current movies for free in the comfort of my home/office. But I have no popcorn or Mr. Pibb. I have some Dr. Pepper.
This movie is a must see; currently it is showing at the Angelika. If you don't have time to go downtown, be patient as it will be in the 'burbs soon. Meanwhile, don't forget about it because come Oscar time, you will wish you had seen it.
Staff Sgt. Will Montgomery (Ben Foster) has recently returned from duty in Iraq as a wounded war hero. He only has three months left on his tour of duty with the Army, but instead of being able to coast through his last days, he is assigned to be a casualty notification agent. He is partnered with the more experienced and senior Captain Tony Stone (Woody Harrelson.)
I've read several reviews about this movie and many of them miss the point in my humble opinion. And my opinions are rarely humble. The powerful and electric chemistry between Harrelson and Foster creates an ideal on-screen joint venture that garners Oscar nominations. Most of this movie has a 90+ rating but first time director Oren Moverman allows the extended character development to become a distraction. This is a rare problem in movie-making.
Moverman falls into the trap of allowing these two complicated characters to also have a life separate from each other, such as Staff Sergeant Montgomery's conflicted love life, but these dalliances merely detract from the emotional entertainment of the sparks of Woody and Ben. Normally, I criticize directors for failure to fully develop a role and the background story but the performances of these two are so commanding and dominant that any scenes without them fall flat.
Woody has once again demonstrated the breadth of his talent with the role of Captain Tony Stone; it is his best. He is now one of my favorites for Best Actor. Problem: what do we do about the performance of Foster? I'm not sure as he received top billing which makes him the "star." And I guess that makes Woody Best Supporting Actor.
And now for the story. These two soldiers are tasked with the responsibility to notify the NOK (Nest of Kin) that their loved one has been killed in action. Captain Stone explains to the untrained SGT Montgomery that we don't tell the girlfriend or the next door neighbor and we never come in contact or touch the NOK. And don't say anything like "he's expired or he's no longer with us...just say that on behalf of the Secretary of the Army we inform you...."
This heart-breaking scene is repeated 5-6 times and each time it happened slightly different, but the family, the two soldiers, and I were grief stricken on each occasion. I was stunned and riveted to the screen. This is not a Happy Thanksgiving delight so this might be another movie to pass on until you are spiritually fit and fully digested all the turkey trimmings. Harrelson, Foster and Moverman are all big winners in this small budget film. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 90. Larry H.
The RoadNote: I saw this movie on November 9, 2009, at a special screening at the Marq*E theatre on I-10 near Silber. Since I've become a member of the Houston Film Critics Society, I have begun attending screenings. I still prefer my Friday afternoon pilgrimage, but sometimes the screenings are convenient and fun. And they serve popcorn and Mr. Pibb and the ticket is free! "The Road" will open on Wednesday, November 25th.
Lwh
"The Road"
Happy Thanksgiving and welcome to Cormac's world; Cormac McCarthy wrote the Pulitzer Prize novel "The Road" and the screenplay was adapted by Joe Penhall. You probably recall that McCarthy wrote the novel "No Country for Old Men" that became the Best Picture by the Coen Boys in 2007. Can lightning strike twice?
You will soon hear that this movie is very dark, depressing, and discouraging. All of those adjectives are accurate. The setting is life on earth after an unknown apocalyptic event that has left human existence in a dark, gray state; literally and figuratively. Trees have no leaves and no apparent animal life. I was amazed that the cinematography was consistently without color yet the sets were true to the story. There is much that is amazing about this film.
Director John Hillcoat, originally from Australia, has created a masterpiece that will be the "talk of the town" as soon as the masses have an opportunity to see it and spread the word.
Viggo Mortensen stars as The Man who struggles to survive with his young son, The Boy, (Kodi Smit-McPhee) as they trudge South with only the clothes on their back and a shopping cart. And a revolver with two bullets. The relationship between these two characters is the centerpiece of the storyline.
Along The Road, the two main characters encounter Bad Guys and bad events that are terrifying and treacherous. This movie is full of metaphors for hope, God, salvation, fear, love, tenderness, mysteries of life, and the human experience of failure and survivability. The editing and photography is truly remarkable and will take you on a ride that will haunt you in such a way that at times you will not want to look at the screen yet you are scared to look away.
The acting by Viggo and The Boy were memorable as the bond between them is the thing of Greek myths. Other outstanding performances were by Robert Duvall as Old Man and Cherlize Theron as Wife. When you see this movie, it is significant that the characters have universal names such as The Man rather than your typically clever Hollywood name. Only Old Man is called by a name - Eli, which is Hebrew and the traditional meaning is God or ascend from God. But count the actual references to God in this movie.
There were many aspects of this excellent movie that pulled on my heart strings, but the one that got me the most was the love and devotion of the father and son. I spent much time during the movie thinking about my fatherhood and how would I handle this tragic situation if I was dirty and starving to death yet it was my responsibility to take care of my son. And I had a pistol with only two bullets and I was scared and overmatched.
This film has Academy Award nominations written all over it and surely it will make the Top 10 for Best Picture. As a reminder, for the first time this year there will be ten nominations for Best Picture
Many of us will interpret this movie differently; hence the talk of the town. McCarthy is known for pushing the emotional envelope in his books and Hillcoat sticks pretty close to the novel. This is not a fun movie and if you need more time to digest your turkey, then wait a week or so before you tackle this holiday behemoth. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 93. Larry H.
Where the Wild Things AreCute movie about a young boy described by his mother after he bites her as being "out of control." So, he gains control by running away and going to a make-believe island where there are some wild things and I went to sleep. The End. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade NR. Larry H.
2012What do the Mayans know? Their calendar had the year 2012 as the end of existence of humans on earth. Were the Mayans right about 2012? Director and writer Roland Emmerich thinks enough of their theory to make a movie about it. But he's from Germany; what does he know.
Well, Emmerich knows a lot about disasters: "Independence Day" and "The Day After Tomorrow" were two of his creations. And he claims that "Poseidon Adventure" "Towering Inferno" and "Earthquake" are his favorite movies.
I thought of each of those movies while watching "2012". The main difference is that this movie is 158 minutes and Emmerich obviously had a fist full of money to make this flick because it is what we call a big-budget movie. It is well done for the most part but also overdone and too long by about 48 minutes. But here is some good news: it will be nominated for special effects, editing, and sound. It might win in the sound category as this movie was truly fun in a surround sound theatre.
The premise is gloomy: the earth's crust in faltering and the President (Danny Glover) sadly explains to the other leaders of the G8 that the earth will cease to exist as we know it. And sure enough the earth starts crumbling and cracking and California falls into the ocean and tsunamis 1500 meters high come rolling onto land. Things are bad and the government leaders jump on Air Force One to implement a secret plan to save their sorry selves.
John Cusack plays the Indiana Jones hero character and his ex-wife is the cutie Amanda Peet. They have two kids and she's remarried and the five of them survive one catastrophe after another.
The whole world has already seen this movie as it grossed $65 million opening weekend because Americans like a good disaster flick. But "New Moon" will rule come Monday. I'm glad I saw this movie because I can't allow you people to see a movie that I haven't seen but even though this is not a great movie, it is worth the price of a ticket. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 86. Larry H.
The Blind SideSince I became a member of Houston Film Critics Society I have been receiving what is called "screeners" which are movies in DVD format delivered in the mail by major studios such as Fox, Sony, and Magnolia etc. The studios are making a big push for votes and political backing for their Oscar contenders. I like the game
When I arrived at my office this morning at the crack of 9:00 AM, there were four movies on my desk that had arrived via FedEx. To my surprise, one of them was "The Blind Side" which came out today. Now that's a whole new world.
As you know, I went to "New Moon" at noon with the knowledge that I would watch this new Sandra Bullock movie when I got home. I've seen ads on TV touting this movie and the probability of Bullock being nominated for Best Actress. Not gonna happen, but she is still a fox at 45. Tim McGraw's portrayal as Bullock's husband was good enough to land him another acting gig to supplement his singing career.
This movie is decidedly average and the only thing outstanding about SB's performance was her ability to walk fast in a skin-tight skirt. And very low-cut blouses. Simple story: rich white family living in Memphis becomes the legal guardian of a very large black kid that is a good football player and protects the blind side of the quarterback.
The film had its charming moments and most of the characters were likeable but the story lacked credence and reality. Anyone that has a scintilla of knowledge about football will be disgusted with the portrayal of Big Mike's high school football coach and the entire street environment. Most of the movie was silly, sappy, and sanctimonious. But it was free. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 82. Larry H.
New MoonWhen I drove into the parking lot of AMC First Colony 24 at noon on Friday of opening day I was shocked at the hundreds of cars that obviously had already arrived for an earlier showing of "The Twilight Saga: New Moon." The people were streaming out of the theatre and I saw one of my clients who thinks I'm a mild-mannered attorney. I asked her if she had just seen "New Moon" and she was beaming and said "yes! and it's twice as good as the first one."
This was a 67 year old woman that had gotten up on a Friday morning with the intention of seeing this teen love story that started at 10:00 AM. The first movie in 2008 was "Twilight" which grossed $380 million worldwide. That ain't nothing compared to what this flick is going to gross. When I bought my food (popcorn and Mr. Pibb) at the concession stand, I asked Levi about the crowds and he shared "man, today's crowd is nothing; you should have been here last night at the midnight showing - the crowd was crazy and the line went way back there."
My theatre #6 was so full that I had to sit on row three; that's right, one of those cheesy rows way down front. And there were about 15 other losers that had worse seats than I did.
The story picks up on Bella Swan's (Kristen Stewart) 18th birthday and she is a senior in high school in Forks, Washington, and she's still madly in love with Vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson). Yeah that's right, the same Robert Pattinson with the dreamy looks that has appeared on every talk/news show on TV the last several days. I've also seen the young hunk who plays the teenager turned werewolf Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) on the TV circuit.
These three are kids: Stewart is 19, Lautner is 17, and Pattinson is the old man at 23. But they are mega-stars and will be become super-mega-stars because of these two movies and the third Twilight movie "Eclipse" that has already been made and will be released in 2010. And if the Twilight Saga is not enough, one of the trailers before the movie featured Pattinson in his upcoming movie "Remember Me."
In this movie, the werewolves do not wear shirts and they have muscular bodies. But none more chiseled than the 17 year old Taylor. When he first took his shirt off in one of the early scenes, the teenage girls in the audience let out screams and cat calls that would make a construction worker blush. And maybe it wasn't just teenage girls; could have been a few cougars.
When I got back to my office building, I bumped into my friend Melinda K. and she asked what movie I'd seen and when I told her, she called me a Twi-Hard. Ok, maybe. She said it's an official term.
When I saw "Twilight" last year I wrote: "This is the greatest film ever made about vampires and teen love. I knew that my teenage niece Elizabeth B. had read the novels by Stephenie Meyer but I figured they were just another love story for young teenage girls and certainly would not interest a man of my maturity." And now I'm a Twi-Hard. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 88. Larry H.
Food, Inc.What's in a name? In this case, everything. Director Robert Kenner has made a powerful documentary about the sorry state of the food industry in the USA. So, the title "food" is the subject matter and the "Inc." is the bad guy.
Kenner's premise is that the food industry is controlled by Corporate America; big uncaring corporate America. And the food we eat is not fit for human consumption since we quit relying on real farmers and non-processed food products. But I do admit that this movie seemed to be a very well made documentary with a touch of fairness albeit with a slanted attitude.
I don't normally watch documentaries but I've been getting a lot of free DVD's mailed to me since I became a member of the Houston Film Critics Society so I decided to pop in a DVD today while sitting at my desk. It is now lunchtime and I don't feel very hungry after having just completed this film that has made me re-think the food I routinely eat. Especially chicken.
The way this film portrayed the life of an overweight, wobbling chicken from birth to slaughter makes me want to eat more beef, except now I have a visual of a mistreated cow literally crawling down the shoot onto a platform so she could soon become hamburger meat. I am left with few happy, carefree choices.
I know what I'll do: let this just wash over me for about an hour then go back to eating the same old crap that I've been eating the last 50 years. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade A-. Larry H.
The BoxI saw this alleged suspense thriller on a Sunday afternoon and the crowd at AMC Loew's First Colony was over 100. I don't indentify with non-Friday noon crowds but I think this portends that it will gross well at the box office. Not if I can help it. Please don't see this movie which I have renamed "The Boring Box."
Things started off good enough. I had been depressed earlier in the day because the Texans had just suffered yet another heart-breaking loss so I had to go to the movies to massage my emotions. Does that mean I'm addicted?
Back to my story. I asked Monique H. if she wanted to go to go the flicks, but when I told her that I was not going to a comedy she decided to pass. Pretty trusting of her since she knows that I'm sweet on Cameron Diaz who is the lead actress in this film.
This movie is so bad that Cameron Diaz didn't even look good. This is the movie that involves a mysterious, yet simple box and if someone pushes the button on the box, then they will get a million dollars cash but someone else who they do not know will die. Classic greed and hypocrisy as themes with some bizarre twists and obligatory sadness and meaningless meanderings about Mars, NASA, and the FBI.
The story was progressing so leisurely that the audience became restless and started going to the concession stand and then coming back to their seats and eating their candy very loudly. I started looking around to get a feel for audience reactions when I spotted a guy about 40 in the row behind me and he was out like a light. Must have slept for over 30 minutes. His wife was sitting next to him and did not seem to mind; at least he wasn't snoring or drooling. I respect a man that's in touch with his emotions.
I was determined not to walk out and I'm not sure why. I think I'm losing my courage in my old age. I had a comfortable seat in Theatre 22 which allowed me to put my feet on a railing which was good. But I was fighting sleep most of the time and was yawning so big that my jaws hurt. I hate it when that happens. Yet I stayed to the bitter end. Or should I say the pitiful, sad, unfulfilling end?
Director Richard Kelly also wrote the screenplay so he needs to be banned to Hollywood Purgatory. Kelly's adaptation came from the short story "Button, Button" by Richard Matheson. And therein lies Kelly's mistake: should have made a "short" movie of say 15 minutes and he might have created something worthwhile, but the runtime on this stinker was 115 minutes. Missed it by a mere 100 minutes. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 69. Larry H.
The Men Who Stare at GoatsI'm a big fan of George Clooney because I think he's a great actor and can take on a comedic role as easily as a serious one. I first became convinced that he was not just another pretty face in his 2000 performance in "The Perfect Storm" as the tormented Captain Billy Tyne.
So I had to see this latest Clooney Comedy on opening day even though I considered seeing "The Box." Life's choices can be difficult and faulty sometimes. I can only dream of "The Box" as I paid my $7.50 to see George star as Staff Sergeant Lyn Cassady who is trained in a secret program at Fort Bragg. The military purpose, in trying to keep up with the Soviets, is to develop a group of psychic spies. Lyn prefers to call his group "remote observers."
The group is part of the U.S. Army's First Earth Battalion led and trained by Jeff Bridges. I don't bother to give Bridges' character name (Bill Django) because this character is really an extension of who I believe is the real Jeff Bridges, at least the Bridges I've known for over 30 years.
Yeah, the one that has a long pony tail and sounds like he just got through smoking a doobie. Or just got back from a bad LSD trip.
And then there's the reporter (Ewan McGregor) who wants to go to Iraq to cover the war and convince his wife that he's not a wuss, but gets hooked up with the wacky Lyn Cassady who is on a mission that is "black." Oh, did I mention that Kevin Spacey plays Sgt. Larry Hooper who is the nemesis of the Good Earth Boys? Or is he? Who knows or cares.
If you are wondering why my comments are disjointed and make little sense thus far, then you understand the fabric of this movie. Director Grant Heslov lost control two minutes into this flick and never righted the ship. The only traction in the story is displayed when Clooney and McGregor are sloshing through the desert sand and we can see their foot prints.
But during the entire movie, I had the recurring thought that these four outstanding actors (Clooney, Bridges, McGregor, and Spacey) must have all agreed to do this project if the other three also agreed. The four of them seemed to be winking and laughing under their breaths in every scene. This story is bizarre slap stick. Is that an oxymoron?
Note: In an effort to make full disclosure and to ensure transparency, I must admit that I've stared at a few goats when I was younger.
I bet there was more than just a few beers (and doobies) consumed by them during the making of this movie. I have never counted my laughs during a movie before this experience, but almost instantly I could tell that this was going to be a bust but with some laughs. I laughed 23 times. Some were little more than a giggle but most were guffaws. I laughed more than the other seven sitting in Theatre #12 on this beautiful Friday afternoon. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 73. Larry H.
This Is ItMick Jagger will watch this film to pick up some tips on how to put on a show and compare his production to Michael Jackson's. I'm not dissing Mick; I've been to two of Mick's concerts and they are spectacular, but I'm just saying that MJ's stage production of his would-have-been world tour is unique, innovative, and entertaining.
The biggest winner will be Director Kenny Ortega who not only directed this movie but also was the co-creator with Jackson in the making of the stage production. And you might say Ortega was the co-star of this film because other than Michael, he is the only one who appears in enough scenes to develop a memorable impression of his persona.
Ortega directed all three of the "High School Musical" movies and is also known for his opening ceremony of the 2002 Winter Olympics and has a history of working with Jackson. The audience sees the collaboration between Ortega and Jackson and while there is no doubt that the King of Pop is in charge, MJ clearly listens to the direction of Ortega and trusts his judgment.
The opening credits explain that what the audience is about to see is footage shot for the benefit of Michael Jackson's personal film library with no reference ever to his death or any sordid details. Some of the camera angles are from below the stage shooting up or over the shoulder of a creative discussion or while one of the dancers is pouring their heart out about the privilege of dancing and performing with their childhood idle.
There are no actors; everyone plays themselves. This is truly a behind-the- scenes glimpse of the massive production and preparation of the "This Is It" tour that was to begin shortly in London. Most of the songs and performances were near the end of final rehearsals but the audience is also treated to the impromptu discussions and starts and stops that are inherent in crafting the nuances of a big-time show.
There are no scenes at Jackson's home or his life outside of the Staples Center where these rehearsals were taking place. I repeat: there is no reference to his death or any controversy in his life; just a straight-forward display of the talent and music of the man. And it is impressive. I liked "Thriller" as much as the next guy but I was in awe of the music, creativity, and dedication of what obviously would have been a legendary tour. Ortega has done him proud.
Footnote: there is no humor or attempt to solicit laughter which is odd even for a picture about the recently deceased Michael Jackson. When you see this film, note the "costumes" of Jackson compared to the casual dress of the backup dancers, musicians, and Ortega; MJ is wearing an outfit that would qualify as a costume at all times.
If you are a Michael Jackson fan, this movie will make you weep. If you are a lover of music and talent this movie will make you sit up and take notice. And if you never liked Wacko Jacko, stay at home. This documentary of the final days of "Man in the Mirror" "Beat It" and "Billie Jean" is a classic. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 90. Larry H.
AmeliaHow can a movie go wrong that stars Hilary Swank and Richard Gere? Let me count the ways. First of all, Director Mira Nair, don't minimize the audience's fascination with Amelia Earhart's prowess as a world-class pilot.
Secondly, don't emphasize her out-of-cockpit romances with her husband George Putman (Gere) and her lover Gene Vidal (Gore's daddy).
Swank is also a world-class actress but she only does a workmanlike job as the flamboyant Earhart who is more interested in being a "celebrity than a pilot." But I wanted action and excitement and I got plodding and boredom.
Swank must have thought that her portrayal of the famous aviatrix would give her an inside shot at a nomination; so did I until I saw this movie.
If the promoters of this movie would have come to me and said: "hey, Larry H., you're a movie guy, how 'bout you kicking in some of that lawyering money so we can make a big budget biography of the great Amelia Earhart starring Hilary Swank?" And since I fancy myself a shrewd financier and as having a good eye for the movies would have readily opened my checkbook (with Monique H's approval, of course) because that movie proposal could not possibly fail! Not so fast Deep Pocket Breath.
I was profoundly disappointed in this flick. I had high hopes for an Oscar caliber movie but instead I got a sophomoric effort to immortalize one of the grand characters of the Twentieth Century. The story appears to stick to the basic truths that Earhart was the first woman to cross the Atlantic in the air (as a passenger) in 1928 and went on to accomplish many aerial feats that made her the darling of Madison Avenue and the international press, but this screenplay lacked passion and depth and the actors could not save this jumbled disarray of unimaginative scenes that evoked little interest. More action please.
I knew things were going awry when an old codger sitting two rows in front of me starting fidgeting nonstop and threw his right arm haphazardly over the chair next to him. Finally, he gave up and left for about five minutes. I had nothing better to do so I was timing him.
When I entered Theatre #16 at AMC Loew's, the house lights were down so I could not get a good read on the crowd but I estimated about 25 hearty souls. After the movie, I remained in my seat briefly to peruse the crowd as I am wont to do and realized that the majority of the audience was alive in July 1937 when Amelia and Fred Noonan went down in their Lockheed L-10 Electra somewhere over the Pacific near Howland Island.
Actually, the ending is one of the best parts of the movie so don't give up and quit before the dramatic ending even though I am assuming you know how it ends. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 75. Larry H.
Couples RetreatI've had a bad day. Let me take a deep breath so I can continue. First of all, as I was walking up the stairs in Theatre #17 (one of the big ones), it was very dark and I was heading for one of the seats near the aisle as I have done a million times and I plopped my big self down and something went terribly wrong. I fell down. Oh, come on, Larry H., you don't mean that you actually hit the deck?
Fell like a sack of potatoes. Did you spill anything? Glad you asked: nary a drop of Mr. Pibb and only about 10 kernels of corn. Have you ever seen someone slip and fall and then pop up in a nanosecond to make it look like they really didn't just fall but everyone knows they did fall but the person that fell is so embarrassed that they are in complete denial? Well, I'm that guy.
I immediately went two rows up and quickly sat down lest someone call out to me to see if I was okay. As I gently sat down, I noticed that I had a slight pain in my right arm and just a hint of throbbing in my left buttocks. I immediately became angry at Loew's AMC for having a faulty seat in a dark theatre and began plotting my revenge. Just wait until this movie is over and the house lights are up and I'm going down to check out the scene of this tragedy.
Meanwhile, phase two of my painful afternoon began. This movie started on an upbeat note with nice opening credits and catchy music and it was downhill from there. Vince Vaughn stars, co-wrote and produced this movie so it's all his fault. This is a terrible excuse for a movie.
The story: four couples go to an island retreat on the Pelican Package so they can renew their relationships with their wives and girlfriend. Jason Bateman and his wife announce to the others that they are getting a divorce so they show a power point presentation to convince them to go as a group in order to qualify for cheaper rates and thus make it affordable for everyone.
Notice I did not mention Bateman's character's name because I can not remember it; oh yeah, it was Jason. Whoa Nellie, slow down with that originality.
When the couples arrive at the island, they learn that they are going to Eden West instead of East because the couples must participate in a rigid plan designed by Marcel (Jean Reno) who requires therapy, yoga, and getting up before sunrise. This Marcel is no Mr. Roarke (Ricardo Montalban) and where is Tattoo when you need him?
This is a miserable experience for the Vince Vaughn-led couples and I disliked every one of them and hoped they drown in the sea. Okay, that's a little rash don't you think? Not at all, I'm embarrassed that I didn't walk out. I chuckled a couple of times and my audience giggled maybe ten times but this movie blows.
True to my word, as the movie ended I sauntered down the two steps to check out the faulty seat. Hey, something must be amiss; the chair and immediate area seemed normal and undisturbed. How can that be? Surely I didn't just miss the seat and fall on my butt. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 65. Larry H.
The Invention of LyingRicky Gervais is my new hero; I've always thought he was funny and clever and one need not look further than his creativity and writing for "The Office" to see much of his genius, but this script is off-the-charts golden and I predict will become a minor classic.
The story is set in an alternate world where everyone always tells the truth even if they have to tell you to your face that you are fat and ugly and especially if, in their opinion, you are a loser. Mark Bellison (Gervais) is that guy because he is pudgy with a "snub nose" that is fired from his job and does not have enough money to pay his rent.
He has a date with the beautiful Anna (Jennifer Garner) who promptly explains to him that he has no chance with her because he is "out of her league" and that she plans to get drunk just to get through the evening.
Anna much prefers someone more genetically compatible such as the handsome Brad (Rob Lowe.)
Things take a dramatic turn when Mark comforts his dying mother by telling her that she will have a wonderful afterlife and there is a "man in the sky" who will provide everyone with a mansion and you will see all of your loved ones and feel no pain. Problem: the doctor and nurses hear this "lie" and soon the whole world thinks Mark knows things about the afterlife because obviously he is telling the truth because in this world everyone tells the truth.
This skillful, thought-provoking, and dare I say "original" screenplay is pure genius and the cast is perfect. And the "hangout" factor is very high. I not only liked all the characters but I would like to hangout with them.
Especially Mark and Anna.
Gervais the Brit (age 48) co-wrote and directed this film with Matthew Robinson who is only 31 and from California. Who the heck is Matthew Robinson? Well, we will all get to know him better when he is nominated alongside RG for Best Original Screenplay. My Sunday afternoon audience in Theatre #5 at AMC First Colony was mesmerized by this movie and laughed in all the right places; this is a must see. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 91. Larry H.
Fame"Remember, remember, remember, remember...remember my name...Fame!" We all know the song that was originally made famous in the 1980 version of "Fame."
This film is billed as an "update" rather than a sequel, prequel or some such concoction. I am now prepared to declare a new maxim: "...it is twice as hard to make a meaningful update of a movie after twenty five years when your subject matter has spread throughout your target nation." There is a High School for the Performing Arts in most major cities in 2009; not true in 1980 when Debbie Allen and the original gang brought these kids to the big screen and showered us with hope and talent.
This "Fame" is still full of fresh faces ready to learn all you can learn about music, arts, and performance in New York City, but it lacked the wow factor that makes a good movie. This is not a bad movie and those of you that are still hanging onto the notion that you will someday be a famous actor, dancer, or musician should see this movie and take your parents and grandparents...or grandchildren. And those of you who almost made it on the stage if only you could have caught a break should see this movie.
The movie opens on Audition Day and continues through the students' Senior Year. We learn soon that only 200 of the 10,000 applicants are accepted so "you better be willing to work hard...yada, yada" or you will not make it.
The auditions feature some hilarious attempts by these young teenagers doing things like a DeNiro in "Taxi" and a song from "All That Jazz."
The first half of this flick was painful for me, then about midway through the kids' junior year I started liking some of them and understanding their struggles and classically dysfunctional parental relationships that comes with the zaniness of performers. The script is not particularly well written or imaginative but somehow it limps to the end with some semblance of success. Of course, I'm a sucker for a musical and the kids performances dramatically improved as they got older. And their love lives and personal ambitions got twisted just like other teenagers.
The big winners will be Kay Panabaker (Jenny) and Collins Pennie (Malik) who stood out among the other young, talented actors. It was good to see Kelsey Grammar, Bebe Neuwirth, Charles S. Dutton, and Megan Mullally as teachers; each of them can still act but could not carry this movie about aspiring teenagers. I want to be famous. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 84. Larry H.
I Can Do Bad All By MyselfTyler Perry has taken it up a notch. I enjoyed the last two movies by TP:
"Meet the Browns" and "Madea Goes to Jail" but I really, really enjoyed "I Can Do Bad All By Myself."
These days Tyler Perry is typically introduced as a Media Mogul because of his huge success on TV with two popular sitcoms, a string of hit movies, and his own two hundred square feet studio in Atlanta where this movie was shot. And he's only forty as of September 14, 2009. I want to be Tyler Perry when he grows up. He's still re-inventing himself with his alter-egos of Madea, Joe et al, but he has the genius of making movies that puts him in the league with Spielberg. Okay, that's a stretch but you get my point.
He doesn't try to make movies like Spielberg; nobody does, but he has the courage, creativity and cash to do his own thing resulting in a genre that consists of only Tyler Perry movies. Perry is able to write, direct and produce movies about life experiences with tenderness and sadness that can only be told through humor or we'd cry the whole time.
His Madea in this flick is just as funny as she ever was in the previous movies, but her bigger-than-life (TP is a very large man) persona made me like her even more. I still wish Madea was on the screen more, but Perry tells this story primarily through the lives of April (Tarji P. Henson) and her two wayward nephews and teenage niece who have had such a bad life that they tragically chose to break into the house owned by Madea. Oh Lord, please don't let those little children get on the wrong side of Ms. Madea!
Perry treats the audience to outstanding and inspirational music as performed by Gladys Knight, Mary J Blige, and Marvin Winans. I cried when Mary J sang "...don't put me down...I can do bad all by myself."
This is a movie with a clear message that God will help us through the journey of life even if we've had bad things happen. The cornerstone of the community is the Zion Liberty Baptist Church led by Pastor Brian (Winans) and Sister Wilma (Knight). There is no doubt about the identity of the heroes and villains. In this case, there is only one bad guy and everybody else is loveable; even big, ole scary Madea because she has a big bite and an even bigger heart.
Madea's charm and insight is revealed when she explained a bible story to the sixteen year old Jennifer (Hope Olaide Wilson). The story went something like this: "...when Peter, who was one of the 12 disciplines saw Jesus out on the lake...he started walking on water toward Jesus but he lost his concentration and started sinking because he was looking at the whale that swallowed Jonah and then Noah came along in the Arch of St. Louis....
And then Madea tried to teach Jennifer how to pray and it was a cross between humming and squealing with the explanation that it was "just having a conversation with God." This is a feel-good movie and I left Theatre #18 at Loew's feeling good. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 90. Larry H.
ExtractIt is important to remember when watching this movie that it is the product of a mind that grew up in the 70's, hit his stride in the 80's and is credited with the creation of "Beavis and Butt-Head" (1993) and "King of the Hill" 1997). And that could only be the genius of Director and Screenwriter Mike Judge.
Judge might be a genius but he, too, is human because this is not a great film, but it is unique, clever, and charming. How else can you describe a story whose hero is Joel (Jason Bateman) the owner of a small vanilla/strawberry extract plant? And Mrs. Joel/Suzie (Kristen Wiig) has an affair with the pool boy. And oh yeah, the pool boy is really a gigolo hired by Joel to have sex with his wife so Joel will not feel guilty for having an affair with the local bimbo Cindy (Mila Kunis).
And if that is not quirky enough for you, Ben Affleck plays Dean the Bartender who has a stash of assorted drugs that would be the envy of a CVS Pharmacy. Dean the Bartender is the devilish influence on the BMW owner, suburbanite, straight-laced Joel who is a decent human with the libido of a 40 year old.
And then there's the little issue of a pending claim against Joel's extract company due to an injury/severance of an employee's private equipment. I have to use the euphemism because I can't say "testicle" in a family article. Oops, I said it anyway.
The big winner in this flick is Jason Bateman. He proved that he can be the lead actor in a comedic role surrounded by hot babes. Not a bad gig if you can get it. He's come a long way from Derek of "Silver Spoons" in the early 80's. Bateman has good looks but not like a Brad Pitt; he's more like you and me. His Joel was perfectly understated and ideally suited for this everyman role. I liked Joel, Cindy the bimbo, Suzie the wife, Dean the Bartender, Brian (J.K. Simmons) and all the plant workers.
This show bumps up against greatness but is too slow at times and Judge wanders aimlessly, occasionally, in developing his complicated and conflicted characters even though he brings it home in the end. This is a Labor Day Weekend treat and will be a fantastic chuckle for a Friday Date Night. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 87. Larry H.
The Time Travelers WifeMonique H. cooked up a killer meatloaf this week so I rewarded her with a trip to the movies and I let her sit by me. She's a fun date and I like her.
Unless you have a lot of time on your hands, do not go out of your way to see Time Traveler. This is an interesting movie and has some peak moments but overall the physics just didn't work for me.
Eric Bana is the Time Traveler and Rachel "Wedding Crashers" McAdams is The Wife. I didn't particularly care for either one of them so I guess that sums up the movie. But here is the good news for Bana: he's in "Star Trek" and "Funny People" this year but "The Time Traveler's Wife" will be his break-out role. You heard it here first; he's not just another pretty face.
I bet this was a good read but it couldn't make the leap to the big screen. Too much jumping around er time travelling for me. Following the story is not a problem but I spent too much "time" focusing on the sequence of events and not the players. Movies are about people not events.
If you see this movie, get ready for a very touching scene between Bana the Time Traveler and his mother (Michelle Nolden) on a subway. This occurs about a half hour into the movie and I got multiple goose bumps. I was very encouraged with this emotional exchange and brief character development that I had hope for the rest of the movie. Nope. That was the highlight.
Rachel McAdams has a great career ahead of her. And Brad Pitt was the Executive Producer; who knew? Pitt's on a roll. Speaking of roll: Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 79. Larry H.
(500) Days of SummerIt's so hot outside that it feels like we've been suffering the summer heat for at least 500 days. But this Summer (Zooey Deschanel) is a pretty young woman from Michigan who has moved to LA for a new adventure. I say pretty but in a rather straight-forward manner without showing too much skin and would probably not make a good pole dancer.
I saw this movie on a lazy, August Sunday afternoon in part because friends had encouraged me to see it. The opening narration explains that this is a "boy meets girl story...but is not a love story." Well, that's kinda sorta true which is the magic of this story about love, but you have to decide if it is a love story.
The "boy" in the mix is Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) who is a cute twenty-something young man that writes greeting cards at the same company where Summer works. Tom is handsome with the same less-than-spectacular exterior as Summer but they seem to be a perfect match.
The attraction begins slowly with Summer's clearly stated boundary of "...I am not looking for a relationship." Tom falls hard and things crescendo to the point of complication pretty fast. This is a chick flick because all love stories/stories about love attract the females but this film is primarily from Tom's perspective. So does that make it a man-flick?
I must admit that I've seen few movies that conjured up old memories from my youth of the 70's as this one. Much of the credit is due to the unique screenplay by Scott Neustadter and Michael H. Weber. And Director Marc Webb took that script and these very talented young actors and created a movie that cooks. What does "cook" mean? The movie accomplished everything as intended by the screenwriters. That is a difficult feat, but the collaboration worked on this project.
When Gordon-Levitt (Tommy from "3rd Rock from the Sun") kissed Zooey D. at the copy machine, it reminded me of the The Kiss I planted on Monique H. in the mid seventies in an elevator. It was the greatest elevator kiss ever. It was so spectacular that in about another 500 days after that kiss, she said "yes." Do you think I want to go back? Oh come on, you know you can't go back, but I wouldn't mind time-warping back to floor number 5 1/2 just for a few seconds.
Whew, writing that previous sentence took it out of me and now I need a nap. Who should see this movie? Anybody that's ever been in love and got their heart broken and/or came to the realization that they don't know diddly about love. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 90. Larry H.
Inglourious BasterdsQuentin Tarantino is back; this is his best film since "Pulp Fiction." Is it better than "Pulp Fiction?" No way, but Tarantino is in a league of his own as a writer/director if your measuring stick is imagination, innovation, and intrigue. Is "Inglourious Basterds" better than the Kill Bill series?
Yes.
I had minor surgery (11 stitches in my neck) the day before I saw this flick, but neither rain nor sleet or few stitches could keep me away from this soon-to-be blockbuster. I even met my old friend Curtis W. before the movie at The Fountains to catch up on his life and then go to the movie with the only rule of "nobody sits by Larry H." Curtis is a law student so he understands legalities so we got along just fine; I'm almost as smart as Curtis.
The opening scene begins with "once upon a time" to make it abundantly clear that Tarantino intends to use WWII as a backdrop of this movie, but the story will be told in a Tarantinoesque manner and the ride is about to begin.
Chapter One of five chapters is the first segment set in Nazi-occupied France in 1941 when we are introduced to two of the main characters: Colonel Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz) and Shosanna Dreyfus (Melanie Laurent), the young Jewish girl who witnesses the massacre of her family by Colonel Landa and his men. Waltz' rendition of the very complicated German soldier who is nicknamed "The Jew Hunter" was my favorite actor and one of my early picks for Best Supporting Actor; his performance was superb.
Chapter Two: Inglorious Basterds is the introduction of the eight American Jewish soldiers called the "Basterds" led by Lt. Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt) with the sole purpose of killing and terrifying Nazis. And Lt. Raine explains with his deep Tennessean accent that "each of you owes me 100 Nazi scalps."
You don't mean that these young soldiers are actually going to cut the hair and scalp off the heads of young Nazi soldiers. Yep, that's exactly what Tarantino means and he vividly displays his point repeatedly; I was taking a bite of popcorn at a moment when a bloodied red head was separated from its hair. And because Tarantino had already softened me up for the bizarre plot twists, I didn't blink or gulp.
This is Tarantino at his movie-making best; we are the recipients of his demented genius and over-the-top humor mixed with his social comment on the ludicrous nature of war. There was so much information being spewed out scene after scene that I was nearly overwhelmed. But even this gigantically skilled production and screenplay hit a few lulls and dips that lost momentum for the story. But not for long because most of the movie had the audience sitting on the edge of their seats wondering "what the heck is going to happen next?"
The hallmark and power of this film is in its ongoing suspense; good old fashion wonderment of "who or what might die or get destroyed?" I lost count of how many suspenseful scenes had its own beginning and end yet fit into a very complicated storyline over a period of three years.
And the music; we all know that Tarantino makes his music an integral part of his movies and this time I would say it's somewhere between Stanley Kubrick's "Eyes Wide Shut" and Sergio Leone's "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly" with a slice of classic Tarantino. Powerful and emotionally significant.
Ok, enough about the movie, how did Brad Pitt do? He was very good and at times excellent but will not be nominated (but yes for Tarantino). However, when Pitt is awarded his lifetime achievement award in twenty years, Lt. Aldo Raine will be in the clip. Long live Tarantino! Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 93. Larry H.
District 9Surprisingly, I found this movie extremely interesting and boring. The storyline is fascinating: an alien spaceship hovers over Johannesburg, South Africa, and the aliens become "refugees" held in a slum called District 9. At first the area was "fenced in, then it was militarized, then it became a slum."
The film reminded me of a slice of M. Night Shyamalan's "Signs" (2002) and Vincent Price's "The Fly" (1958) with just a pinch of "Pirates of the Caribbean" (2003) and "The Day the Earth Stood Still" (1951). How on earth did you arrive at such a combo of movies, Larry H.? Glad you asked.
The aliens looked like an ugly rendition of the undead guys with the long tentacles in "Pirates" with a body similar to the slim, bouncy chaps from "Signs." The other two movies speak for themselves so we will understand mutations and alien treatment/prejudice.
In this latest version of unwanted aliens on earth, the politicians of the world do what they are best at doing: hire an independent contractor called Multi-National United (MNU) to solve the dilemma without dirtying the hands of world leaders. And if the MNU doesn't treat these vulnerable creations fairly or with compassion, then that's just too bad. They are not humans and do not deserve to be treated...well, like humans.
And if the true goal of MNU is to learn how to use the alien's weapons to gain power and a profit, well, that's ok, too, because that's what humans do. I could almost hear Charlton Heston saying "dirty stinking animals."
The movie is important in that it goes way out on a limb and takes chances uncommon to Hollywood by not sugar coating the loathsome manner of hatred and mistreatment of nonhumans from another planet. District 9 is not even a decent slum; it's more like a concentration camp including medical experiments, torture, and senseless executions.
I give Director Neill Blomkamp high marks for movie-making bravery, but he went too far out on that limb for me. So, consequently; I did not enjoy this movie and did not like any of the characters and barely was able to choose sides. I felt bad for everyone and could not relate to anyone. Bummer! Special effects were well done. I was glad it was over so I could get on with the rest of my Saturday afternoon. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 71. Larry H.
The Hurt LockerThis is one of the most intense movies since "The Deer Hunter" (1978). I was hooked from the opening scene and had sweaty palms throughout most of the film.
Director Kathryn Bigelow has shown that she can make an award-winning movie. Even though she has enjoyed mid-level directorial success, she will be a force to be reckoned with in the future and will not have difficulty in raising the cash for her next project.
This story is about the visceral emotions of war and the ever-present threat of death of the three main male heroes fighting in Iraq in 2004. To learn that the director was a female was a mild shock to me. This movie is very macho and clearly from a male's perspective; or is it?
I knew very little about this movie prior to buying a ticket other than some of my movie-going friends were giving it rave revues. We all know that I do not like people seeing a movie before I see it, so I have been gunning for this flick for over a week. It is currently showing at only five theatres in the Greater Houston area, but I suspect that it will be in wide release soon; it's that good. I saw it on a Friday afternoon at AMC Studio 30 and there were only 10 other folks in my audience.
Our three soldiers are members of an Army special bomb team that is tasked with defusing IED's (Improvised Explosive Devices) on the streets and alleyways of Baghdad. In the opening scenes, the team loses its leader because of an explosion so the audience is painfully aware of the deadly danger they face each day. The new team leader is Staff Sergeant William James (Jeremy Renner) who is a "wild man" and approaches this incredibly scary job as though he is without fear and in doing so jeopardizes the safety of the other team members - Sergeant JT Sanborn (Anthony Mackie) and Specialist Owen Eldridge (Brian Geraghty).
The character development of these conflicting personalities is masterfully revealed through impeccable timing and solid performances. While these three actors will get better paying jobs in future movies as a result of their impressive performances, it is the screenplay, editing, and direction that are the keys to this complicated yet hugely entertaining film
It is "entertaining" if you go to the movies to learn and to have your emotions altered. This is not a "yeehaw, let's all feel good" movie. This is about the serious aspect of humans once again being faced with the proposition of "kill or be killed" in the name of patriotism and confusion. And fear and denial, sadness, grief, bravery, anger, trust, and bewilderment.
Fitting all these pieces together is tricky but Screenwriter Mark Boal has delivered a chronicle that is action packed with a hair trigger that will keep you on the edge of your seat. The only reason I looked at my watch was to determine how much longer I would have to endure the passion of one emotional scene after another and quite frankly to pace myself to ensure that I could make it to the end.
I want to see this movie again soon which is the ultimate compliment. It has an outside shot at being one of the top ten movies of the year and garner a nomination; this year for the first time there will be ten nominations for Best Picture. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 92. Larry H.
Julie and JuliaFriday afternoons are still my favorite time to see a movie on opening day; however, I broke traditions just this once. I went to my first film critics screening of "Julie and Julia" at AMC Studio 30 on Dunvale in Houston on Wednesday night August 5th - two days before its general release on Friday August 7th.
I went to the screening for two reasons. The first being that I was excited about seeing a new movie starring Meryl Streep (Julia Child) and Amy Adams (Julie Powell) directed/written by Nora Ephron. That's three of the most powerful and talented ladies of Hollywood.
The second reason is that I agreed to meet Nick N., the President of the Houston Film Critics Society, at the screening and since I am the newest member of HFCS, I thought it would be a good idea to show up and kiss up to the Prez.
As I walked in the theatre, I noticed an important looking lady holding a clipboard so I introduced myself and she said "oh yeah, you're the new guy." I like being the new guy; especially if being the new guy also gets me in the front door for free.
The crowd in Theatre #14 was very large and full of anticipation and full of all kinds of folks. I had to sit by two people which is against my rules and why I'm going back to Friday afternoons. Please note that I did not completely sell out – I had my Mr. Pibb, popcorn and Milk Duds.
Radio station 104.1 KRBE had given away a lot of tickets and the Houston Chronicle had an entire row reserved. Before the movie started, a nice lady walked on stage with a microphone and started hawking the movie and giving away prizes to audience members that answered movie trivia questions correctly. Of course, I knew all the answers to the questions but I was not about to raise my hand for fear someone might think I wanted one of those prizes. I did grab a movie poster on the way out though.
The movie started shortly after 7:30 PM as billed with no trailers; went straight to the flick. I liked that.
The movie began in France 1949 with the introduction of Julia Child as a young woman married to an American diplomat living in Paris. Soon the action switched to New York City 2002 with the introduction of Julie Powell as a twentysomething woman who worked in a cubicle for the Lower Manhattan Development Corporation.
This movie is advertised as "based on two true stories." The story of Julia Child the famous American TV cook who specialized in French cuisines and the life of Julie Powell who wrote a blog on her quest to cook all 524 recipes in Child's famous cookbook in 365 days. Their love stories and quest for life's meaning through cooking was the interwoven plot and the engine of Ehpron's screenplay.
And Nora the Great who has written and directed some memorable films ("Sleepless in Seattle" "Michael" and "You've Got Mail") lost control of this almost epic-long movie. Well, it was only 123 minutes but it seemed a much longer. The timing and texture of this movie with its intricate editing missed the mark. The ping pong effect that was inevitable in revealing the characters and stories of two fascinating women and great actors fell flat.
It was not Streep's fault though. She will probably get Number 16 and once again be in the running for Best Actress. Adams not as lucky. Playing opposite Meryl is a daunting task and Amy held her own in “Doubt” but this time round she was sautéed.
But watching Streep is being in the presence of greatness. She will be remembered as Julia Child more that Julia Child who died in 2004. She nailed that high pitched sing-song voice of Julia Child and her body movement and hairdos were superb. With camera angles, Streep "grew" six inches to fully reflect the size of Mrs. Child. Steep is the Babe Ruth of the big screen.
This has a lot of chick flick qualities so half of you will be challenged and a few of you will be overwhelmed by it, but it left me a little hungry but still willing to say "Bon Appétit." Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 85. Larry H.
Blame it on KumarNote: this article by Larry H. was directed to the readers of his weekly movie reviews published in the "Fort Fend Independent."
It's Friday afternoon about 1:30 PM and I'm just wandering around my office moping because there are no movies good enough to cause me to get off my duff and go buy a ticket. I'm depressed.
This only happens after a long (sometimes sad) procedure which begins early on Friday mornings. My routine is to peruse the "Houston Chronicle" Section E to pick my movie for the week and hopefully the movie of the week will start around noon at AMC Loew's at The Fountains.
Before I choose a movie, however, I read the weekly reviews by the Chronicle film critics. My favorite critic is Amy Biancolli; I want to be like her when I grow up. We all know that will never happen since I am considerably older than 39 and she writes real "good" and I prefer goofy with a just a pinch of schtick.
Today's reviews have titles like this: "Orphan adopts an evil, yet entertaining, tone" or "Guinea pigs can't save a weak G-Force" and then there's "Finding Mr. Right isn't always pretty" and my favorite -"Metal Gods' staying power." Doesn't that just make you want to go to the movies? I say "dang it!"
So, here it is mid-afternoon and I am tooling around town with Section E folded into a cylinder and placed in my back right pocket under my shirt so the casual observer will not make me for a movie loser. And I have given up. Now, I am getting bored and sleepy. Who wouldn't be sleepy if they did not have a bag of popcorn and a Mr. Pibb? That's right; no man can take that kind of agony! Milk Duds? Don't even go there.
Maybe I'll go home and read a book. That will never work as my fatigue factor will kick in and I'll be asleep in five minutes. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Perhaps I should see the new Katherine Heigl movie "The Ugly Truth;" she's pretty. But we both know the movie will be truly ugly in spite of her beauty. I am not physically or spiritually fit enough to see these seemingly crappy movies. I know that I'm paid the big bucks by this newspaper to see these movies and then report to you the God's honest truth. But let's face it, Kumar the Editor isn't exactly Santa Claus so I need more money if I'm expected to see movies even when it is clearly not good for my health.
Speaking of money, let's start a campaign with you readers sending in letters and emails to Kumar insisting that he give me a raise and buy me a Smart Car for travelling to and from the movies. Yeah, that's the ticket.
Blame this whole affair on Kumar. Rock 'n Roll. Larry H.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood PrinceThis the sixth movie based on the wonderful novels by the great one - J.K. Rowling. She is great; this movie is not. "Half-Blood Prince" is the story of Harry Potter's (Daniel Radcliffe) sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Harry and his best friend, the red-headed Ron Weasley (Rupert Gint), are older enough now to notice the opposite sex which is quite the challenge for these self-conscious lads who just happened to wave a mean wand. Harry's very special confidant and buddy is the super-smart Hermione Granger (Emma Watson) who has always been sweet on Ron, but not sure how to bring him under her spell. These young wizards and witches have their magical ways but they are not any luckier in love than we muggles.
As always, the dreaded Lord Voldermort is lurking in the background and his younger self, Tom Riddle, is revealed through painful flashbacks that do not come close to capturing the mystery and intrigue as Rowling's written word.
And here's the rub, Director David Yates has made four of the Harry Potter movies and I expected him to deliver the goods. Rowling is one of the most talented story-tellers to ever lay pen to paper so she and her devoted readers deserve only the best screen production possible. Yates has lost his magic and needs to get a new broom to ride. I've read all seven novels and each of them is a work of art and has made J.K. Rowling a living legend.
Yates is filming "Deathly Hallows" Part I and II and if he knows what's good for him, he will stay focused in reproducing the suspense, fear, and wonderment of Rowling's Harry Potter or he will suffer the curse of the Dark Lord.
Some of our favorite characters are resurrected by solid performances by Michael Gambon (Professor Albus Dumbledore), Jim Broadbent (Professor Horace Slughorn), Alan Rickman (Professor Servus Snape), and Helen Bonham Carter as Bellatrix Lestrange. But this is another example of the old adage "great acting can't save bad direction and a weak screenplay."
Making entertaining movies is elusive or Steven Spielberg would never make a stinker, but I was still overwhelmingly uninterested in this half-bloodied effort. And I didn't give a wit who turned out to be the Half-Blood Prince and I already knew who it was.
Rowling's original story about Harry's quest to unravel the deep mysteries of Voldermort and discover the identity of the Half-Blood Prince was fascinating and captivating; this story was dull and demented as a Death Eater.
My Friday afternoon audience at AMC's Loews at The Fountains was small and lifeless; many took bathroom breaks which is the ultimate movie insult. Some of you will love, no way, I mean like, this movie as did Eric H., but you can tell David Yates that he's on my probation. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 72. Larry H.
BrunoI did not think it was possible for a movie to be more offensive than "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan." But Sacha Baron Cohen has set a new mark for crudeness.
Cohen co-wrote and stars as the flamboyant Austrian fashionista Bruno. This is the third character of Cohen's alter-egos and thankfully the last from the "Da Ali G Show." I admit that I've seen "Borat" and parts of it were hilarious. And at times I thought I understood the "genius" of Cohen.
But this mockumentary about Bruno's gayness and bizarre, over-the-top behavior was more than I could stomach. I walked out of the movie and I don't even want you to know how long I stayed for fear that you think me weird. Let's just say that I did not consume all of my refreshments.
One must be 17 or older to buy a ticket to "Bruno" and I think entry should be limited to age 17 ONLY. There were some teenagers in my audience and they laughed loudly and often. So, does that make me an old fogey? Yes.
If "Borat" should have been rated "X" then this piece of a movie should have been rated "XXXXX." Sober adults and youngsters need to steer clear of this nasty and distasteful excuse for entertainment.
I need to see "Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs" to get the filth off me and clear my mind of some pretty raunchy visuals. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 65W. Larry H.
Public EnemiesIts way too hot to be outside so you might as well go the movies and cool off. I'm just not too sure most of you will want to spend the bucks to see the latest gangster movie starring Johnny Depp as bank robber John Dillinger versus Christian Bale as Special Agent Melvin Purvis.
This is a Michael Mann Film so it is well done, well financed, and well...not a great movie and was therefore disappointing to me. With these two big stars and a romantic story of good-guy bank robbers stealing money from "the man" during The Depression, how can you go wrong?
Sometimes your Thompson sub-machine gun shoots blanks and some times it hits bulls-eyes. Speaking of shootouts, there are many in this action flick and the sounds of the various pistols, rifles, shotguns and machine guns seemed authentic for a change. And the shooters had to actually reload their weapons occasionally; imagine that!
Johnny Depp is a great Dillinger and I was pulling for him all the way. Sure he was a "hitter and a thief" but he had his good qualities. For one, he has that dreamy look that causes the women to swoon. I did that once.
Christian Bale was ok as Agent Purvis, but I don't like Bale or the horse he rode in on. And it ain't no fun pulling for John Law when you can pull for John Depp.
All in all, my experience at the movies was strained and not just because the movie was sub-par. As the opening credits began to roll and the lights were going down, a couple sat down in front of me in Theatre #9 at Loew's. This man was a very large human and immediately starting rocking back in his seat thus causing contact with my long legs. I was miffed. So, I pushed back. He gave me a look around his left shoulder like I was supposed to be intimidated. Nothing doing; this is my theatre. Then I thought that perhaps starting a fight in my local theatre was probably not a good move so I let it slide.
Then he started putting his hand above his head and dangling it over the back of his chair and into my space. Ok, so he wants to take it up a notch; so I swung my knee against his meaty hand as though I was casually crossing my legs. This dance continued, but I was clearly winning and we reached a peaceful truce.
There were aspects of this movie that I liked but my mind wandered and I found myself looking at my watch and hoping for the famous ending when John Dillinger is coming out of a theatre on a hot evening. The ending is extremely well done so props to Mann but even a great ending can't save an entire movie. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 84. Larry H.
Year OneMaking a good movie is hard. Harold "Ghostbusters/Caddyshack" Ramis has been a Big Dog writer and director for a long time and one of my favorites. He's extremely clever and has a unique sense of comedy but apparentlh he's human because this was a very mediocre movie.
Zed (Jack Black) and Oh (Michael "Juno" Cera) are cavemen who speak perfect English and have straight white teeth but the setting is in the early years as in Year One. Zed and Oh are not particularly talented at hunting or gathering which are the "only two jobs" in existence so their stock is low. Zed eats an apple from a tree that is forbidden and off limits to the locals and is thrown out of the local village. How can you go wrong with a cute plot like that?
Oh is a loyal friend so he and Zed set off to seek their fortune and see if the earth really ends on the other side of the nearby mountain. The two charming cavemen encounter all kinds of hazards and interesting kings and high priests (Olive Platt) and Zed even takes on the persona of "The Chosen One" but the humor continues to fall flat on its spear.
I knew the movie was in trouble when the first five minutes were unspectacular and it seemed to reach a plateau of mediocrity even when Zed and Oh encountered their first experience with the wheel.
Maybe this movie is the type that slips up on you because Zed and Oh threw up after taking their first ride on an ox-drawn cart because the 3 MPH was too fast for their system; I did not laugh. I'm now smiling just thinking about it. Hmmm, I wonder if this movie has cult possibilities. It has huge possibilities for the 12-15 year old crowd as they laughed the most.
The performances of the gregarious Jack Black and the understated Michael Cera were not the problem. The gags and giggles were simple and became predictable and paltry. That's Ramis' fault. I think Ramis was tricked by thinking that the witty writing would translate to the big screen; it did not.
However, one of my new all-time favorite lines came from Zed - "Go, or I will kill you where you stand." I'm using that line. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 74. Larry H.
The HangoverThis is the most decadent movie I've seen in a long time and it has been number one at the box-office. What does that say about us?
I must be getting old and prudish but this movie was so far over the top that I could not allow myself to enjoy it. Since it was the third movie I'd seen in three days and it was a lazy Sunday afternoon, maybe I was off my game. Nah, it was a piece of crap; totally without a social compass.
I'm sorry I saw it. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 69. Larry H.
Away We GoCurrently, this movie is showing exclusively at Landmark Theatres River Oaks on West Gray which is downtown Houston for those of you that have never had the pleasure. This old Grand Dame opened its doors in November 1939 shortly after my parents graduated from high school.
It didn't have any air conditioning then and there wasn't much yesterday. I barely found a seat in a theatre that has a capacity of 119 so I had to sit next to someone. Horror of horrors. I sat by a man and at one point I think our arms touched as I could feel his arm hair. Don't you just hate it when that happens? Well guess what; that means he probably felt my arm hair. Poor fellow.
But let's give credit where credit is due; the theatre is old school and a "landmark" that should be treasured by the movie-going public and they have Root Beer and exceptional popcorn.
The two main characters are John "The Office" Krasinski as Burt Farlander and Maya Rudolph as Verona De Tessant. Now stop right there. Are those two of the best character names of all time or what? So props to writers Dave Eggers and Vendela Vida. Who names their kid "Vendela?"
A woman from Sweden; Vendela's mother was born and raised in Sweden. The San Francisco Chronicle called Vida and Eggers "the current literary equivalent of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston." And we all know how well that creative couple turned out.
Conclusion: Vendela Vida came up with the names of Burt Farlander and Verona De Tessant. I don't know Eggers, but I just don't think the boy had it in him so he left the character naming to his partner.
Burt and Verona are 33 and 34 and not married and even though Burt regularly proposes marriage, Verona calmly turns him down because she "doesn't see the point." She gets pregnant and still refuses to get married in spite of her deep love for the shaggy-haired bespectacled, cute/adorable Burt.
They are a young couple trying to make choices in life for their soon-to-be born baby girl and Burt explains that he wants his kid to have an "epic childhood." A heavy burden for new parents who don't have much money or future. "Where should we live?" becomes the burning question, so they decide to travel around the United States and Canada (Montreal) to choose the best place for their "new home."
Along the "away we go" they encounter quirky family members and old friends and co-workers (Catherine O'Hara, Jeff Daniels, Allison Janney) that provide a slice of wacky Americana which reminded me of "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" meets "Little Miss Sunshine."
This is a charming and funny movie and Director Sam "American Beauty" Mendes leaves his tight-camera shots mark all over this movie but this was not his best work. The big winners will be Krasinski and Rudolph who proved they can carry a movie as headliners and will be rewarded for their performances with many more movie offers. Wait for it to come to the 'burbs. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 86. Larry H.
The Taking of Pelham 123We have a winner and the first major mega-hit of the summer. And it's about time. It's too hot outside so we need an inside sport and movie-going is just the ticket. Be sure to get your favorite drink and lots of popcorn because you will not want to go to the concession stand during this very well-made action flick.
There are four reasons this is border-line great movie: Director Tony Scott, Screenwriter Brian Helgeland, and the two superstars that delivered outstanding performances: Denzel Washington and John Travolta.
The setting is the subway system of good ole New York. A group of four heavily armed men led by Ryder (Travolta) takes over a subway train and holds 19 hostages and demands a large sum of ransom in cash from "the mayor and the city of New York." The radio contact at the MTA is Walter Garber (Denzel Washington).
The give and take dueling between the two main characters sets the stage for the entire movie and the chemistry is dynamic and never waivers. Travolta and Washington have had great careers and averted a disaster because we all know a simple action movie can easily slip into silliness and a caricature of themselves. But Director Scott never allowed the plot and dialogue to lose balance or focus resulting in memorable performances by the two giants. That's quite a feat so props to Scott.
Scott has made some fantastic movies in his long career: "Top Gun" "Crimson Tide" and "Enemy of the State". He and Denzel teamed up with Screenwriter Helgeland in their making of "Man on Fire" in 2004 so that probably helped in reaching the right mix in this stew. Throw in John-John and you got yourself one heck of a good team.
The film editing and sound grabbed my attention before the opening credits. We could hear the screeching of the train wheels before we saw the first scene. Sounds of guns, crashes, sirens, helicopters, groans, and the ever-present squealing and swaying of the subway are worthy of a nomination.
Speaking of guns, you will notice that in the middle of an important and suspenseful moment, a small Walther PPK is slipped into a duffle bag and later that same pistol turned into a Kahr 9MM. Now I don't want to go all Second Amendment, but it ticks me off when the makers of a movie think they can substitute gun props in a movie willy-nilly and it not be noticed by a red-blooded Texan. So take that Mr. smarty-pants Tony Scott!
Ok, I'm calm now; this is a must-see movie and we certainly deserve it.
Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 92. Larry H.
Land of the LostLand of the losers. To quote Dr. Rick Marshall (Will Ferrell) "...this movie ba-lows" big-time. I hung in there for over an hour and felt like a chump for staying that long.
I will admit that I laughed/chuckled a couple times and there were some young kids that laughed often but our boy Will Fail was brutal. I was warned about this movie by my banker, Walter R., but what does a banker know about the nuances of movie-going; apparently a lot.
Do not go to this movie unless you have seen every movie now showing in all of America and you have a five year old that wants to see a stupid movie about dinosaurs and a space time vortex. But there is bad language and strong sexual innuendo so I wouldn't take a kid either. So who should see this movie, Larry H.? No humans.
I'm a huge fan of Will Ferrell, but he went to the well one to many times. He needs to make a sequel to Ricky Bobby or an entire movie with him as host of "Jeopardy" with a mystery appearance by Burt Reynolds and Sean Connery talking bad about his mother.
I knew I was in trouble when I was constantly looking at my watch and then the clincher: I decided I'd rather be at work on a Friday afternoon than sitting in movie theatre #17. Ouch.
Here's another take: I thought I was in an NBC reality TV show in the jungles of Costa Rica and I wanted to stand up and shout "I'm a celebrity - get me out of here!" Ok, I'm not a celebrity but I know some people. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 65W. Larry H.
UpThis is one of the shortest movie titles ever; not to be confused with last week's monstrosity: "Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian." But what's in a name? A lot if you count short and sweet which is the upside of "Up."
This is the latest Disney/Pixar Animation Studio production that is worthy of their reputation and my time. Historically, I do not like animated films, but they have come so far that I had high expectations as I entered Theatre #13 at First Colony AMC. I did not see it in 3D because the timing was wrong; I love those 3D glasses!
Let's start with kudos to the story/screenplay of Pete Docter and Bob Peterson who are also credited with direction and co-direction so it was pretty much their baby. And Peterson also contributed a voice to one of the characters.
The story begins with Carl and Ellie as young children who hit it off immediately, fall in love, get married and.... I can't tell you anymore, but suffice it to say that the love story of Carl and Ellie rivaled the magic of Jennifer Cavalerri and Olive Barrett IV. I'm getting verklept just thinking about it.
Here are a few hints: Carl (Ed Asner) hooks some balloons to his house and sails off to South America for an adventure that involves mysterious creatures, scary landscapes, good/bad characters, and a loveable little boy named Russell (Jordan Nagai).
I got goose bumps in the beginning and I cried in the end. And the middle was spectacularly slow. Oh well, it's hard to make a perfect movie.
The kids in attendance laughed in all the right places and I laughed some of the time, but I was in awe of the quality of the production and the tenderness and love of the story. I had visions of "The Wizard of Oz" and "The Old Man and the Sea." Easy, Big Boy; it's true.
Ed Asner's gloriously grumpy yet loving voice was perfect. And that voice, the dogged determination, and the character's white hair conjured visions of Spencer Tracy's Santiago. And Carl's complicated love and passion moved me to tears while rooting for him to do the right thing and win the day.
Take a kid to see this movie or just go alone if you have to, but Pixar has hit another homerun. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 89. Larry H.
Night at the Museum: Battle of the SmithsonianFirst of all, the title is too long. But let's not be too hasty. I first tried to see this movie on opening day in Austin at The Bob Bullock Texas State History Museum, but the line was too long so Monique H. and I went to 6th Street. No, we didn't go in any Honky-Tonks, we just drove along 6th Street and pretended to be young and went back to our hotel to watch the basketball game.
Geez, that sounds like old fuddy-duddies. What the heck is a fuddy-duddy?
If you don't know, then you're probably not one. Google it.
I have fond memories of the first "Night at the Museum" (grade 85) where the display characters come to life at night and wreak havoc and frighten the adorable security guard Larry Daley (Ben Stiller). And you ask, "Hey, Larry H., do you need to see the first movie to enjoy this one?" (Thanks for calling me Larry H.; I like it when you call me by my first name).
The answer is unfortunately "yes" because this story is twisted and tormented into a mess of silliness that makes little sense and would be totally confusing and meaningless without the back story of the first movie.
Here's the good news: Amy Adams as Amelia Earhart is golden and I kid you not - she reminded me of Kate Hepburn. Ms. Adams is going to be a mega-superstar and you heard it here first. And Director Shawn Levy made sure there were many shots of Ms. Earhart's skin-tight fly-girl pants.
More good news: Hank Azaria as the Egyptian Kanmunrah was nails and he was hysterical. Even though this was not a particularly well-made movie, I screamed with laughter several times so that's better than a poke in the eye. Azaria was also the voices of The Thinker and Abe Lincoln.
It was good to see Owen Wilson as Jedidiah Smith the pistol packing cowboy; I've worried about Owen, but he seemed to be the same ole loveable, charming guy with the hook nose that we've grown to know and love.
I've been typing this piece while sitting on my patio drinking my Memorial Day morning coffee; temperature is 72 degrees with a 5 MPH wind. Not sure if I'm making any sense, but I sure feel good about it. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 78. Larry H.
Footnote: did you catch the irony that we could not get in the museum to see a movie about a museum? And the title of the museum is way too long.
Rudo y CursiSometimes I go to a movie for odd reasons. Today, I went to AMC First Colony because I was boycotting Ron Howard's "Angels and Demons" starring Tom Hanks, and I was hoping to discover the latest and hottest Spanish subtitle movie.
Well, I did not see angels but I think I've seen the devil; this movie was from hell. And that's a little too hot for me.
The story is set in Mexico and is about two brothers from a poor village and their rise and fall in the world of professional soccer. It started off strong and I was liking these two lads when some serious boredom set in and I went to sleep.
Say it ain't so, Larry H. It is true - sound asleep. I just knew it was going to be the next greatest foreign film, so I could tell you people all about it, and it would look like I was a real artsy kind of guy. Turns out I'm just another schmuck who thinks he's some sort of movie critic.
Don't start calling me names. I saw "Talk to Her" in the spring of '02 and dutifully reported that it was a great movie and it won many awards and made director Pedro Almodovar a star. But what have you've done for us lately, Larry H.? Not so much.
Wait just a darn minute: I saw "Star Trek" on sneak Thursday; doesn't that count for something? Ok, I thought so. Now get out of here you knuckleheads. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 69S. Larry H.
Star TrekThursday night at the IMAX for the first showing of the "Star Trek" prequel was big fun. And I'm not a Trekkie, but I know a few. One of them is my good friend Morris M. who actually invited me to attend with him and his son Kyle M. Also in attendance with us was Travis High School Senior Greg P. who ordered a White Cherry Icee whatever that is, but Greg seemed to gulp it down like he was eighteen years old.
I referred to folks as "Trekkies" in front of Morris M. and he politely yet firmly corrected me saying "...it's actually Trekker." And so I did not say "Trekkie" again in front of this Trekker but I was confused. I've been using the term "Tekkie" for decades. So, I looked it up on Wikipedia which is the arbiter of all mysteries. Come to find out, this issue was settled by none other than Leonard Nimoy in 1991 at the 25th Anniversary Special when he explained that the correct term is "Trekker." Well, excuuuuuuse me.
I hereby publicly apologize to Morris M., Kyle M., Tim B., and Karl B. and promise never to use the term "Trekkie" ever again for a whole week.
This "Star Trek" is a winner, but I only liked three parts of the movie: the beginning, the middle and the end. Oh yeah, I loved the special effects, the sound, editing, story, acting, and the popcorn.
My Trekker friends will not be disappointed or offended by the nuances or revelations of their beloved characters. And you non-Trekkers will enjoy a great movie even if you don't know that Tiberius is Captain James Kirk's middle name.
This Star Trek still has its fair share of black holes and time travel but Director J.J. Abrams has created a wonderfully updated version that will surely have huge success and many sequels yet honestly preserve the traditions of the story and the quirkiness of the characters.
And yes they are all back: James T. Kirk (Chris Pine); Spock (Zachary "Heroes" Quinto), Dr. Bones McCoy (Karl Urban), Nyota Uhura (Zoe Zaldana), Scotty (Simon Pegg), Hikaru Sulu (John Cho) and Pavel Chekov (Anton Yelchin) and of course Leonard Nimoy as Spock Prime as in "from the future."
This movie begins in the early days of the lives of young James Kirk and Spock before they took over the USS Enterprise. Actually, it begins with the death of Captain George Kirk who sacrifices himself and his ship to save many others on the day his son James Tiberius Kirk is born.
The acting and chemistry between Pine and Quinto is nearly perfect and will make both of them mega stars and very wealthy. J.J. Abrams can take a big sigh of relief because he pulled it off and the Trekkers will love him forever.
There was a surprising amount of humor and I noticed that a couple of times the Trekkers laughed heartily and I didn't get it, but I snickered so it would look like I was one of them. My all-time favorite line is delivered as expected by Bones when he is exasperated with Spock and screams: "Are you out of your Vulcan mind?" Live long and prosper or Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 90. Larry H.
X-Men Origins: WolverineEscape. And I want to be a super-hero. Two good reasons to see a movie that has its roots in Marvel comics. And if you are a woman there's always Hugh Jackman.
Things were looking up as I drove into AMC Loew's parking lot and realized that my personal parking spot was available. I don't talk about my parking spot much so you people won't complain that Larry H gets special treatment. And don't forget that about a year ago the manager comped my ticket and a soft drink. And popcorn, so there.
We learn that James Logan aka Wolverine (Jackman) has been fighting on the side of good and on behalf of the USA since at least the Civil War. In the first five minutes we also see clips of him fighting heroically in the First and Second World Wars and Viet Nam.
"Jimmy" Logan is part of team of men who have "special powers and get special treatment." They are killing machines led my Colonel Stryker. Jimmy aka Wolverine gets tired of the killing and retreats to Canada to hide from the old gang by working as a lumberjack and hanging with a beautiful girlfriend (Lynn Collins). His razor sharp blades only occasionally come roaring out of his knuckles while in Canada, but we know this placid existence will not last long.
Living a secret life as a mutant is not easy and soon things go bad and he's back in the game seeking revenge against his brother Victor (Liev Schrieber) who done him wrong. In order to combat the evil and very powerful Victor who is now known as Sabretooth, Logan agrees to be infused with Adamantium which will make him indestructible.
I'd like to take a swig of that Adamantium and then try to convince Monique H. that my name is Larroverine. I think this plan will work. Please don't tell her until I've tried it a couple of times.
The first half of this movie was fun and the action was interesting. I could relate to Logan/Wolverine and felt confident that I wanted to be a super-hero when I grew up, but then the story stalled and stuttered.
The violence and special effects continued but seemed to be without purpose and did not advance the meaningful aspect of the plot. When you lose an audience in an action film, you've lost them forever. And that's what happened. The last thirty minutes were boring and terribly disappointing especially since the first hour of the movie had me ready for a big ending.
Didn't happen.
I go to movies on Friday on the first day in part so I can see the movie before normal people. However, Eric H. saw this movie in Austin at a midnight showing and he gave it a "so-so." And that's from a hardcore Marvel and "Heroes" fan.
This is an important movie in the X-Men series and ongoing genre of Super-hero movies, so if you, too, are a fan, then by all means give it a whirl, but many of you will be disappointed. This one is a close call. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 84. Larry H.
The Soloist"I've never loved anything the way he loves music." The memorable line by Steve Lopez (Robert Downey Jr.) when describing Nathaniel Ayers (Jamie Foxx), the soloist. Nathaniel is a solo act because he lives on the streets of Los Angeles and prefers to play his two-string violin in the outside. Actually in a LA tunnel, but he refers to his area as having "clean air" even though the city smog is pretty high.
Lopez writes a column for the "Los Angeles Times" and needs a new topic and accidentally comes into contact with the schizophrenic Nathaniel who quickly becomes part of his ongoing newspaper articles and a friend.
As much of a friend as a white newspaper writer can befriend an African American street person that has a mental illness and deep love for Beethoven. Nathaniel once had a promising career and had begun his formal training when he was very young at the Julliard School of Music. But Nathaniel's mental demons took over.
Due to the notoriety of Lopez' column and a sincere desire by the confused journalist to help Nathaniel, they arrange for him to get a cello (his first love) and a modest apartment.
I've detailed much of this movie, based on a true story, because Director Joe Wright presents it to us as basic storytelling and does not take any of the usual Hollywood paths of sex and violence resulting in almost a documentary. Except a documentary can't attract two superstars like Jamie Foxx and Robert Downey Jr.
So tell us, Larry H., how were their performances? Superb! Then the movie must be great? Not so fast. I was baffled by my disinterest in the interaction of Lopez and Ayers even though I knew this was a tender story of love and trust, but I just couldn't take the leap of faith needed to fully appreciate this flick.
Equally baffling was my reaction to the ending. After having spent over an hour and half being nonplussed, I found myself getting teary-eyed. I rubbed my eyes and asked myself "what's that salty discharge?" So, I guess I took a deeper leap of faith than I was aware of. That happens to me sometime. Not being in touch with my feelings and such. Just ask Monique H.
"Should we go see this movie, Larry H.?" You continue, "We know you have emotional connection problems, Larry H., but what about the rest of us?" And I respond "...if I knew the answer, I would be more in touch with my inner self, now wouldn't I?" "Well, how can you cry at the end of a movie when you didn't even like the movie?" I don't know. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 79. Larry H.
State of PlaySunday afternoon. Movies were not meant to be seen on Sunday afternoons, but I was busy all weekend at a competitive pistol match and dodging a drought-busting flood that almost washed away Monique H's new flowers.
When I got home about mid-afternoon, I opined that I had missed my God-given Friday movie and she said something like "...ok, Larry H. you've had enough fun for one weekend." I like it when she calls me Larry H. It usually does not bode well for my team, but at least it shows that she's been paying attention.
The new Russell Crowe movie seemed like a wise choice because the cast of Ben Affleck, Helen Mirren, Jeff Daniels, Rachel McAdams, Robin Penn Wright, and Viola Davis was a slam dunk. Since baseball season is in full swing, I will use a some baseball lingo to describe this flick.
"Ball Four" is the first thought that comes to mind - not much going on, slow action and the guy still gets to first base. "Error" in direction and editing allowing unearned runs is next. Director Kevin Macdonald dropped the ball on this one and really threw us a curve ball in the plot development that was tortured and disjointed. And did I mention slow moving and sluggish? Oh yeah, I already said that, but it deserves to be repeated.
Then there's "caught stealing" because it cost me $8.50 to get in the front door of Theatre #2 which was a rip-off. And last but not least it was "Strike Three." You're out.
This "State of Play" was not "Play Ball;" it was more like "State of Stupid" as in sophomoric and sappy. I had to eat extra Milk Duds to stay awake. It was painful. I did notice that the audience laughed heartily when the Jason Bateman character made a funny. I, however, did not crack a smile because I had developed a major attitude by the time this weak attempt at humor arrived on the screen.
Amazingly, the acting was first class. So I blame the entire movie on Kevin Macdonald who made this Sunday afternoon experience feel like a 12-inning loss to the Washington Nationals. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 69. Larry H.
Observe and ReportI could have seen "Hanna Montana: The Movie" and I wished I had. This is the second attempt in a matter of weeks that Hollywood has chosen to bring us a movie about the glories and gore of serving as a mall cop.
The first one released this year was "Paul Blart Mall Cop" starring Kevin James which I gave a 73. After about 15 minutes I thought I was seeing a Paul Blart re-make then Seth Rogen's Ronnie Barnhardt took a dark turn.
Ronnie the mall cop suffers the same insecurities as Paul Blart and frustration with an inability to get into the police academy and carry a real gun, but this mall cop has a mean streak and uses the "F" bomb like it is an Olympic event.
Seth Rogen is clean shaven and has a close-cut hairdo but he is still weird, obnoxious and just a missed medication from flipping out. He has a bi-polar disorder so I guess that is suppose to explain the creepy and crass behavior.
In spite of my dislike for Rogen's mall cop, I repeatedly found myself in awe of his ability to act and take his character down paths that only a great actor could accomplish. That amazes and fascinates me so I will not give up on seeing a Seth Rogen movie.
I just don't want my 87 year-old mother watching such trash but it is ok for me because as we all know I am a semi-professional moviegoer and insulated from corruption and sin. It's a good thing that today is Good Friday!
If on the other hand, you tend toward the decadent, then this movie is for you; you get to see full frontal nudity of an overweight, middle-aged flasher as he is chased by Ronnie though the mall. A very long chase and the flasher's overcoat is flapping in the wind during this extended chase.
Upon clear reflection, I would like to raise my grade for "Paul Blart Mall Cop" to 76 so I can give "Observe and Report" a lower grade. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 75. Larry H.
Monsters vs. AliensI saw this movie on a Saturday afternoon with about 400 other parents and kids at AMC Theatre #4; my first 3D movie at my local AMC.
The plot is lighthearted and full of family fun and the kids squealed and laughed throughout this 94-minute DreamWorks marvel. Animation and 3D has come a long way and nobody does it better than DreamWorks so I did not feel cheated by paying the higher price. But the ticket was $12.50 which included a pair of 3D glasses in a sealed plastic package. Add the $11.50 I paid for nutritional snacks and I dropped 24 bucks before I sat down and I didn't even have a date.
Speaking of sitting down, I entered the theatre just as the trailers were beginning and was shocked to find that it was very crowded. Mild panic set in because I quickly scanned my seating options and realized that I might have to actually sit by someone. Oh my, now what do I do? That's what you get for going to a movie on Saturday afternoon instead of Friday at noon.
Luckily, I spied one vacant seat at the end of a row and bent over slightly and whispered to the man in the next seat "...Sir, is this seat taken?" His response was "no" but he said it with an certain attitude that meant "...no one is sitting there currently, but you look a lot like a weirdo and I wished I could think of something to say that would make you not want to sit by my young daughter and me but since I can't think quickly enough, then ok, the seat is vacant." I reply with a very weak "thank you" and slip into the seat.
Since I am a semi-professional moviegoer, I switched into "Charming Larry H." and immediately began small talk with Mr. Dad in the seat next to me. Soon, Mr. Dad is explaining to me that he has not been to a 3D movie since "Jaws." The ice was broken and he was no longer treating me as an interloper.
I started feeling comfortable in this enormous crowd and openly wondered when it was appropriate to put on the big 3D glasses. A large part of me was anxious to put them on and start experiencing stuff jumping off the screen.
We did not have to wait very long because about halfway through the trailers, a message appeared on the screen instructing us to put on our glasses. Hurriedly, I pulled my 3D kit out of my pocket and started to open the plastic but couldn't get it started. Not to be outdone by the other kids, I bit into the sealed package and tore it open and slammed on the glasses so I would be ready to go the instant stuff started flying off the screen.
And in short order, hands and rocks and monsters were reaching out into the audience and us kids were squealing and laughing and ducking. The stuff that came from behind us on its way onto the screen was particularly disconcerting.
Sitting next to Mr. Dad was the precious and cute three year old "Miss Molly" who announced to her daddy that she did not want to wear her 3D glasses. Mr. Dad began some mild negotiations about the need for the glasses to see the movie but Miss Molly would have none of it; she knew best and was not wearing those big, dumb glasses. And she never put them on during the rest of the movie. I do not recommend watching a 3D movie without the special glasses but it didn't seem to bother Miss Molly.
And then a meteorite hits Susan (voice of Reese Witherspoon) on her wedding day and because it was full of quantonium, she instantly grew to a height of about 50 feet. Bummer on your wedding day. The US government has the typical reaction to such an event by drugging her, tying her up, and carting her off to monster prison. There she meets three loveable, bungling monsters that are obviously good guys and should not be in monster prison.
These three are played by the voices of Seth Rogen, Hugh Laurie, and Will Arnett. Seth "I Smoke a lot of Weed" Rogen stole the show; his acting/voice was outstanding. Can you win an Oscar for voiceover? Jack Bauer Sutherland as General W. R. Monger and Rainn "The Office" Wilson as Gallaxhar were also memorable.
At about the one hour mark, Miss Molly grew weary of the entire affair and climbed into her daddy's lap and turned her back to the screen and buried her face into a loving dad. But soon she twirled around and was back on the job and holding her stuffed animal that showed up out of thin air.
Now Miss Molly is back at full throttle and has her left leg dangling over Mr. Dad's leg and slightly into my space. And then she became antsy and began nervously kicker her leg and mine. Just a gentle tap every thirty seconds or so. Just enough to keep me on guard lest I appear not to notice that Miss Molly is repeatedly kicking me. Mr. Dad didn't seem to be aware of Miss Molly's assaults and you can bet I was not about to bring it up. I'd worked too hard to establish a friendly neighbor rapport and did not want to jeopardize that relationship.
Then the unthinkable happened - Miss Molly dropped her stuffed animal onto the dark, slimy theatre floor. Mr. Dad and I both made a stab at saving Molly's prized possession from hitting the deck but we were not quick enough. While reaching for it, Mr. Dad accidentally hit my right leg and said "...I'm sorry." Since I was now his BFF I said "that's ok."
The three of us had a lovely time at the movies and you will, too. This is a charming, cute, clever movie. Take your Miss Molly to this fun flick and you will be a better person. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 89. Larry H.
DuplicityThis movie is billed as a crime thriller but I prefer to call it a grime chiller. I don't know what that means but I just couldn't agree with "crime" or "thriller" because I was not sure what the crime was and it sure as heck wasn't thrilling.
Oh sure, it has a few twists and turns and writer-director Tony Gilroy has created witty exchanges between the industrial spy heroes/lovers/enemies Ray Kavol (Clive "Hunky" Owen) and Claire Stenwick (Julia "Big Lips" Roberts).
Maybe it should be billed as a jet-setting couple of twits that jump in the sack frequently but are not even sure if they like the other person. Or could it be billed as love and espionage? I didn't care much.
The film begins in Dubai and makes its way to Rome, Miami, New York, and Zurich, and has two powerful corporations desperately trying to outfox each other. Tom Wilkinson and Paul Giamatti play the two dueling CEO's and they are outstanding. I'm not saying Julia and Clive were bad; perhaps uninspiring would be more appropriate.
Gilroy is a big-time writer and has had some notable hits: "Michael Clayton," The Bourne movie series, and "Dolores Claiborne" to name only a few of his scripts, but he mailed this one in. Or should I say he "cashed it" in? Many of you will see this flick because Clive and Julia are hot. But many of you will be disappointed. The romantics among you will be giddy.
I started looking at my watch at the one hour mark knowing that I had another hour to go. I considered walking out, but I'm glad I didn't as the final 20 minutes is worth the wait. Barely.
Spring has sprung and we have some good movies coming soon so hang in there and we'll get some winners before July 4th. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 80. Larry H.
Race to Witch MountainThe best thing about this movie at Loew's AMC at The Fountains was that I parked immediately outside the back door of Theatre 16 so I could make a quick exit into the parking lot.
I always park in the back area near the exits of Theatres 13-16 so I feel especially fortunate when my movie is in one of those theatres. Then, I can slip out the back when the movie is over when all the noncom's have to amble out the "front" into the hallway. Meanwhile, I'm outta here.
Dwayne "Don't call me 'The Rock' anymore" Johnson stars as an ex-mobster who has gone legit and is now driving a yellow cab on the streets of Las Nevada. And wouldn't you know it; a couple of aliens jump in the backseat of his cab and all kinds of havoc ensues. Beware of aliens looking for their spaceship.
Sounds like a great plot; does not. It has the shtick of "Austin Powers" when Mike Meyers is trying to be serious and the believability of "National Treasure" when Nicholas Cage is trying to be clever.
I like The Rock and he was sure trying to turn in a good performance, but there's just one teeny, weenie problem: he can't act. But the two blond teenagers who played the characters from outer space were adorable and helped this dismal story.
And you must see the skank (Dr. Alex Friedman) in this flick to believe it; her blouse was so tight that I thought she was gonna choke. Geez, I think I'm getting old. Her blouse wasn't any tighter than The Rock's muscles; the boy's got some guns!
If you have a kid age 8-9, then this will be nice Spring Break treat. The movie is wholesome and borderline fun. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 76. Larry H.
WatchmenSuperheroes in an alternate 1985. One of the old gang, The Comedian, is murdered and Superhero Rorschach is determined to find out why The Comedian was murdered and if the murderer intends to kill the other now-retired masked heroes who helped save the world as far back as 1940. I didn't care if they killed them all.
I thought this movie was spectacularly flawed; it was beautiful and the special effects were awesome but the story was way too long and stuck on itself. I was yawning and spinning in my seat hoping this 163-minute flick would move along and not bog down with yet another long explanation and flashback which did not add entertainment or empathy.
If you find that you enjoy explaining why DC Comics rule and that you are not a nerd just because you can name all these characters and you think it's about time that Hollywood paid homage to the Watchmen, by all means, please go to this movie. For the rest of us, I don't think so.
I was planning to walk out when something strange happen during the movie and it caught my fancy. Let me break it down for you like this: we had already seen dogs chewing a girl's bones and a meat cleaver repeatedly pounded into a man's head, when Rorschach poured boiling oil on a fellow convict's face and the audience laughed. Laughed heartily.
That's when I decided that I had to tough it out and see the end of this atrocity. The end was as big a bust as the rest of the film, but at least you "Matrix" freaks can't claim that I'm not made of the right stuff. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 69. Larry H.
Madea Goes to JailI saw this movie five days ago on a Sunday afternoon and am just getting around to writing this piece. That's what happens when I go to the movies on Sundays; it ain't normal and I get mixed up.
This is a very funny movie and I laughed mucho and every time Tyler Perry's Madea was on the screen. Perry writes, directs, and stars (three characters) in these movies and oh yeah, he produces them, too. Do you ever see Tyler Perry on a talk show? Never, because he's too busy counting his money.
I suspect that few of you that are not African American have seen this movie; that's a mistake. I'm laughing even now five days later just thinking about it. It's a hoot. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 89. Larry H.
Paul Blart: Mall CopYou know you might be a mall cop if your name is Blart. Kevin "King of Queens" James stars as Paul Blart, a mild mannered security guard at a New Jersey mall. He's got the eyes for a Barbie Doll who works in one of the mall kiosks, but we don't think he has much of a chance with Miss Amy.
Paul is dedicated and tries in his own sweet way and then slinks home where he lives with his mother and 12 year old daughter. Paul is dramatically overweight and readily makes fat jokes, and we learn that he has repeatedly been rejected in his attempts to become a real cop.
I have never laughed so hard at such a pitiful movie. You deserve whatever you get if you buy a ticket for this mistake at the mall and apparently many of you have. After having been released for a little over a month, this sorry excuse for a movie has racked up $112+ million. Not bad for a month's work.
During this film, I found myself wondering why Kevin James would subject himself and his career to such a farcical character. And then the credits rolled and I noticed that he was one of the producers and co-writers. So who's laughing now, Mr. Movie Smarty Pants? KJ is laughing all the way to the bank or he can just open his own bank with his cut from the movie. And then he can apply for a bank bailout.
I admit that I chose this movie because its two days before the Oscars and everyone is playing it close to the vest so the current movies are either Oscar-nominated or an in-depth analysis of a Shopaholic. The popcorn was good and that's all that matters. Rock 'n roll.
Grade 73. Larry H.
The InternationalThis movie opened on February 13th (Friday the Thirteenth) just in time for the new Stimulus Package. This movie was so boring that I didn't care a wit if the characters lived or died. And the "bad guy" was an evil bank that dealt in worldwide corruption and money laundering; so what else is new?
Clive Owen stars as an Interpol agent paired with Naomi Watts as an Assistant DA from Manhattan. Their performances were unappealing and so were they. It's hard to shine in a bad movie and these two could not add any aroma to this stinker.
I knew this movie was in trouble because even the beginning was disjointed and dumb. I swear I tried to like this movie because this close to the Academy Awards (February 22nd) there are few good movies other than those nominated for Oscars and I've seen all of those movies. Only new movies with nothing to lose have the audacity to debut in mid-February.
Here's an example of other movies: I ran into two of my married friends from church who were slipping off to the movies around noon on a Friday. These women were alone and going to separate movies and we talked about which movies we were going to see and I was feeling so smug because I was buying a ticket to see an international dramatic thriller and they were going to see "Confessions of a Shopaholic" and "He's Just Not That Into You."
Note: my two lady friends are pretty cool in my book. Only cool people go to the movies on Fridays at noon; alone.
I should have gone to one of those chick flicks rather than this piece of fraud about bank fraud. When I walked out at about the 55 minute mark, I looked out over the shockingly large crowd of about 50 and hollered loudly: "hey, you bunch of losers; let's blow this joint!" Ok, I'm lying but I thought about it. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 69W. Larry H.
TakenThis suspense movie fooled me; it is number one at the box office by grossing over $24 million domestic on opening weekend. Monique H. and I saw it at First Colony AMC 24 on Saturday afternoon.
The movie begins in the United States but quickly goes to Paris. Liam Neeson stars as seemingly frumpy Brian Mills who is retired as a government spy where his job was a "preventer." And when talking to the bad guys who kidnapped his 17 year old daughter, he quietly explained that he had developed a "set of skills" during his career that would enhance his chances of killing the entire gang (of Albanian thugs) unless they released his daughter.
While on the phone with Mr. Mills and in response to his threat, one of the bad guys mockingly said "good luck" to the distressed father. Bad idea.
Let me tell you a little about these "set of skills." How shall I put it?
I know - he had the qualities of some of the following:
Cleverness of a Mission Impossible operative
Calmness of James Bond
Gun-handling of Jason Bourne
Tenacity of the Terminator
Killing ability of Clint Eastwood's No-Name character
Toughness of Office John McClane
Karate talent of Bruce Lee
Resourcefulness of Rambo
Coordination of Spider-Man and
Intellect of a CSI detective
I do not want to give away the story but who do you think wins this battle. It was a hoot and I loved every minute of it. There is so much action and killing and butt-kicking that it is hard to keep up without a program. This movie is not for the faint of heart but if you like the "set of skills" described above then you might like this movie. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 89. Larry H.
The WrestlerSeeing "The Wrestler" on a Friday afternoon is not recommended; could ruin your weekend. It was depressing. Me and about 18 other hearty souls endured the blood and guts of Randy the Ram (Mickey Rourke) trying to make a comeback after being out of the limelight for two decades.
Director Darren Aronofsky went out of his way to make this movie about the underbelly of professional wrestling as real as possible. There was so much blood from razor blades and barbed wire in the character development stage that I considered walking out. Then I decided that Aronofsky could not possibly keep up this pace and was merely trying to make a point. I'm glad I was right and the blood stopped flowing or I was out of there.
Ok, here's what we all want to know: does Mickey Rourke deserve the Oscar for Best Actor? No. It was a memorable performance worthy of a nomination but let's just leave it at that and allow Mickey to continue his comeback in real life, too. Will Mickey win the Oscar? Yes, probably.
Was Rourke's character a big stretch? No. I kept thinking that it was Mickey Rourke playing a wrestler hoping that his acting would save his career (not Randy's career but Mickey's). I'm happy for Rourke and look forward to seeing him in other movies, but he does not get my vote this time.
What about Marisa Tomei as the exotic dancer, Cassidy, pseudo girlfriend of Randy? For her performance, I award the N.O. That's the Nudity Oscar. Many of her scenes were doing her thing while working out on a pole with little more than a G-string. Marisa can still bring it. If she wins Best Supporting Actress, it will be because she got the female vote that looked at her body at age 44 and said "You go girl!"
Kudos to Evan Rachel Wood as The Ram's daughter who hates him because he abandoned her as a child. If you've seen all the movies and you still want to see a workman-like performance by a strong contender for Best Actor, then you need to see "The Wrestler" before February 22nd. There's only one problem with this movie: it's not very good. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 78. Larry H.
Revolutionary RoadThis is a must see movie if you are spiritually fit for an emotional ride that will make you question your life. The setting is a 1955 suburb of Connecticut and our two heroes are Frank and April Wheeler played by none other than Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet.
Leo and Kate are married with two children and caught up in the mundane challenges of life and decide that they need a geographical cure and moving to Paris is the answer.
Who should see this movie? Anybody that's ever been married or plans to marry. And anyone that expects to ponder the meaning of life. The screenplay is adapted from the novel by Richard Yates and masterfully written for the big screen by Justin Haythe.
Kate's hubby Sam Mendes directed and produced and he must feel slighted by not being nominated because he knows he created a memorable piece of moviemaking. Having not read the novel and knowing little about the plot before seeing this movie, I was constantly on guard and anxious as the story unfolded and the characters were developed. There were no boring scenes or meaningless dialogue.
I'd heard much about the acting of Kate in this movie and I acknowledge that she played the conflicted and introspective April beautifully, but once again my boy Leo was unfairly overshadowed by her. Leo is the one that should be getting the rave reviews, not Kate. Leo was robbed in "Titanic" and she's done it to him again.
Leo and Kate are the Humphrey and Katherine of our generation and it's about time that Leo gets his due. He's a magnificent actor and therefore I hereby nominate him for Larry H's newly created "Loscar" for Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role. Ok I admit it; Kate is a great actress and her performance was brilliant, but I just think we need to throw Leo a frickin' bone.
I saw this flick at two o'clock on a Saturday afternoon and the crowd was very large and totally engaged; I was surprised. This is not a fun movie, but if you can handle the truth as revealed by a crazy man played by Michael Shannon who was nominated for Best Supporting Actor, then this is the movie for you. And ain't that a kick in the pants that Shannon was nominated but not Leo and Kate. And but for Heath Ledger, Shannon might have won the Oscar. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 92. Larry H.
Gran TorinoThis is not Dirty Harry as an old man; it is Clint Eastwood as an old fart.
He plays a disgruntled Korean vet who has worked 50 years for Ford and is recently widowed.
He's lived in a Michigan middle class neighborhood forever and now all of his neighbors are Asian and Hmong to be precise. However, his prize possession is a 1972 Gran Torino that he keeps in mint condition and has no time or patience for his new neighbors that he refers to as "...slopes, gooks, fish heads, and Dragon Lady".
He's such an old fart that nobody likes him other than his very old dog and that includes his two sons and their families. He sits alone on his porch drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon beer that he keeps in a cooler. His favorite piece of furniture is a lawn chair. He's what we kindly call a "piece of work."
His name is Walt Kowalski; he's proud to be a Polack and regularly gets a ten dollar haircut from the local barber - Martin the Mick. Walt clashes with the Catholic priest that checks on him from time to time because Walt's beloved wife made the young priest promise to "look after him...and get him to confession."
Ok, you get the point; Walt is an old bigoted, racist with a brutal military background and doesn't take any stuff from anybody.
In spite of himself, he begins a friendship with his Hmong neighbors and then, uh oh, the local Hmong gang terrorizes his new friends - his only friends. He was quite fond of the two youngsters living next door and they are on the receiving end of the violence. Walt ain't happy and when Walt ain't happy, nobody's happy.
When you see this movie, I suggest that you bring an attitude of perseverance. The first two thirds of this movie were slow and led me to conclude that the Great Clint Eastwood had produced and directed a stinker. I know that's blaspheme and you know that I don't blaspheme, but I was having some serious doubts.
Then the action picked up and the character development kicked in and I was hooked. Before I knew it, it was hook, line and sinker. I cried and got sweaty palms. It became a very emotional experience for me and I was shocked. I love it when a movie tricks me with subtleties.
Eastwood is still The Great One and only he could pull off this movie sprinkled with charming suspense and believable brutality. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 90. Larry H.
Marley and MeThe Me is John Grogan (Owen Wilson) who is a columnist for a Florida newspaper married to Jenny (Jennifer Aniston) and they have a yellow Lab named Marley. Marley is a very bad dog and gets kicked out of Obedience School because he's one of "the top five all-time bad dogs...and now he's number one."
But John and Jen love him and so do the three Grogan kids. The movie is simple and lovable. Everyone is dripping with sweetness and it is a huge box office hit. I'm glad to see Owen Wilson back on top.
I'm not about to say anything bad or critical about this movie because the dog lovers of the world will banish me from the earth. And I only cried once. If you have not already seen this movie, then your friends can tell you all about it because "everyone's seen it." Rock 'n Roll.
Grade NR. Larry H. Note: NR = "not rated" due to fear of reprisal
The ReaderOccasionally, a movie comes along that is very different and so extraordinarily magnificent that it is stunning in its greatness. "The Reader" is one of those movies.
I don't read much about movies or plots, or movie stars for that matter, before I see a movie; I just go based on gut instinct or a rumor. Those are the best indicators unless you count my written comments. When I sat down to see this movie at AMC First Colony on January 2nd, I did not know much more about the story other than it got some Golden Globe nominations and Kate "Titanic" Winslet might get an Oscar nod.
And it was some kind of a love story. That's like saying "Titanic" is about a ship. This is forbidden love at its best and in all its glory. Frontal nudity and backal. We now know a lot about Ms. Winslet's body and her 15 year old lover Michael Burk (David Kross). It is rated "R" but would have been rated "X" in the old days.
The setting is post World War II West Germany and the 36 year old Hanna Schmitz hooks up with a good-looking, innocent teenager. They engage in passionate love-making and develop a complicated emotional connection that is suddenly broken off when Hanna abruptly leaves.
That's all I'm telling you. The trailers and internet reveal far too much about the story in my opinion. The revelations and surprises in this movie are part of the fun.
Since I did not have a pre-conceived notion about this flick, I arrived with a clean slate and I'm sure that added to my entertainment and fascination with it. I was mesmerized by the acting and the account of these two classically challenged lovers. Go see this movie with as little knowledge as possible and I think you will enjoy the adventure all the more.
Ralph Fiennes plays the older Michael Burk so that should seal it for all you "English Patient" freaks. I'm only mildly a fan of Ralph but he does a good job. But not as good a job as Kate and David Kross who should be nominated for Best Actress and Supporting Actor.
Just to give you a hint about this movie, but it is only a hint and not too much should be read into it, but it is a curious mix of "Summer of '42" and "Schindler's List."
"The Reader" will garner many nominations including Best Director for Stephen Daldry who has been nominated twice for "The Hours" 2002 and "Billy Elliott" 2000. He's served his time and got street cred so he's a definite frontrunner.
And the Weinstein Boys were the Executive Producers so this project had big-time backing from the beginning. As a sentimental note that will enchant The Academy, both of the producers died unexpectedly before the final cut of the movie: Sydney Pollack and Anthony Minghella.
You will see the movie sooner or later because it will be all the rage so you might as well give it up and go now so you won't be a movie nerd. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 95. Larry H.
Return to Larry H's Movie Reviews Page | Return to Homepage