Larry H's Movie Reviews for 2003
Index of Movies:
Big Fish | Cold Mountain | Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King | Stuck On You | The Last Samurai | The Missing | The Cat in the Hat | Master and Commander | Elf | Mystic River | Kill Bill Volume 1 | Lost In Translation | Duplex | Secondhand Lions | Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star | Pirates of the Carribbean | Open Range | S.W.A.T. | American Wedding | Seabiscuit | Legally Blond 2 | Terminator 3: The Rise of the Machines | 28 Days Later | The Hulk | Hollywood Homicide | 2 Fast 2 Furious | The In-Laws | A Mighty Wind | X2: X-Men United | Anger Management | Phone Booth | Basic | View from the Top | Tears of the Sun | The Life of David Gale | Talk to Her | Shanghai Knights | The Recruit | The Hours | Adaptation | The Pianist
I'm running very late for a New Year's Eve Taco Party so I gotta make this short. "Big Fish" is big interesting; mostly entertaining and very innovative. It's adapted from a novel by Daniel Wallace who might have been smoking some weed when he wrote it.
The Cast: Albert Finney and Ewan McGregor play the same character - the young and old Edward Bloom who loves to tell tall tales to his confused son and anyone else who will listen. Steve Buscemi, Danny DeVito, Jessica Lange, Helen Bonham Carter and a two other guys; one about eight feet tall and the other about nine inches shorter than DeVito. Setting is primarily a small town in rural Alabama. The story is about survival, love, and relationships.
This movie has the fantasy and charm of "The Wizard of Oz" and "Lord of the Rings" with just a hint of the bizarre 1999 movie "Magnolia." It has already received four Golden Globe nominations and the Academy will like it, too. It is not a fun movie but worth seeing. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 92. Larry H.
Going to a movie at 10:20 am two days after Christmas has its advantages. The lovely Monique H. decided to tag along so I treated her to a five course breakfast at Luther's BBQ which is located across the street from Loew's at the Fountains. How convenient is that. Even though we enjoyed a giant breakfast with all the trimmings, I had room for coke and popcorn.
Cold Mountain is a small town in the North Carolina Mountains. Ada (Nicole Kidman) arrives in town as the beautiful, refined daughter of the new pastor (Donald Sutherland). She catches the eye of a shy carpenter called Inman (Jude Law) and they stare at each other awkwardly and manage one passionate kiss before the Civil War starts. Inman and every able bodied man take off for war that they insist will last only a month. There are many themes and symbols in this story but the two that struck me were the naiveté (stupidity) of man and the brutality of war. I realize those and the other themes of this movie are the classic struggles of the human condition and at times predictable, but they are very well done and warrant empathy.
Ada writes many letters to Inman and ultimately begs him to "...come back to me." And that's exactly what the wounded Inman decides to do. The problem is that the war is not over so he has to desert to return to the love of his life. There are numerous flashbacks and flash forwards in developing the deep love Ada and Inman share even though their time together was very short.
The primary plot involves Inman's monumental trek home and Ada's attempt to cope with an unfamiliar role of provider and caretaker of the family farm. Ada is a flop at first and then she is blessed with the friendship of Ruby (Renee Zellweger) who is an energetic country girl that knows how to cook, plow, and survive. The bond and relationship between Ada and Ruby is an intricate part of the movie. Please remember that Ada and Ruby are really two of the big stars of Hollywood and they play their parts magnificently without stepping on the screen presence of the other. Both deserve nominations.
This story is adapted from the very successful novel by Charles Frazier and directed by Anthony Minghella ("The English Patient"). Screenplay and direction also will receive nominations as well as Best Picture, cinematography etc. Jude Law is a maybe. This movie is the current odds on favorite to win Best Picture. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 95. Larry H.
Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
If you liked the first two LOR's then you will like this final chapter of the trilogy based on the classic fantasy story by J.R.R. Tolkien about the good and evil forces of Middle Earth. Director Peter Jackson has completed his masterful job of presenting this three-part movie version (200 minutes) and deserves big kudos. All three movies were shot at the same time and then released in consecutive Christmas seasons. I saw the original LOR on December 19, 2001; LOR: The Twin Towers on December 18, 2002, and today is December 19, 2003. Jackson and I have been very consistent.
In this phase of the struggle, The Dark Lord Sauron is up to his evildoing ways again and attacks the good folks of Gondor; "...the age of man is over." But our heroes though badly outmatched plan to fight to the death led by Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen) and the wizard Gandalf (Ian McKellen) while the beloved hobbits Frodo (Elijah Wood) and Sam (Sean Astin) wage their own battle for the ring.
This is a beautiful movie that is expertly presented with battle scenes of biblical proportions -swords, axes, bows and arrows, rock/fire bombs, giant elephant-like creatures, goliath-like man creatures, rodan-like flying reptiles, and wonderful horses. Loyalty, courage, adventure, love, fear, and deep feelings of fellowship. This might be the year for Peter Jackson. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 93. Larry H.
"What ya are gonna see today?" said the Legal Assistant to the nice Lawyer Man. "'Stuck On You' because I hate Diane Keaton." "That's Un-American" said the sassy lass. "I'm not sure why I hate her, but I'm pretty sure I hate her." That's as American as it gets; if I want to hate somebody then get after it. Don't go all church-lady on me; I'm kidding about Diane Keaton. Pause. Am not.
But I like the Farrelly Brothers as writers and directors. I know they are whack but they're charming. And you gotta give 'em props for making a big time movie about conjoined twins. The twins are Matt Damon (Bob) on your left and Greg Kinnear (Walt) on your right. They are connected at the hip and share a liver.
They might not be like all the other boys but they box (four gloves), play football (block and run), hockey (goalies with two sticks) and have private moments with girls. That last feat is a bit tricky but the brothers have worked together for 32 years. Bob loves running the Quickee Burger where the boys are famous for cooking really fast or you get your burger for free. But Walt has the acting bug and wants to go to Hollywood to seek his fortune. Walt can't go without Bob so off they go to H Town. It's a little rough at first; ok a lot rough - with another person attached to the actor's hip in a camera shot. Walt (with Bob) gets a lucky break from Cher who wants to use their oddity to get out of a contract. The story is nuts but who cares. The Farrellys allow us to have fun along with Walt and Bob who are loveable, sincere, sensitive, naive, macho, outgoing, shy, stylish, frumpy,.. things are complicated.
I liked all the characters in this movie. It is not a great movie even though it has cult possibilities because of its bizarre humor and odd storyline. Meryl Streep has a small part that is hilarious. Cher plays a mockery of herself which is big funny. I laughed a lot. If you want a cheap laugh and only a little serious and sappy, then go see this flick. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 87. Larry H.
So there were these two bankers and a lawyer that walked into this hotel.... Actually, I did go to a Chamber of Commerce luncheon with my money handlers to hear the King of Torts Joe Jamail tell war stories. Joe J. is on a book tour and he stopped in Fort Bend. I left the ballroom a little early (I had taken my own horse) so that I could make the one o'clock showing at Loew's at the Fountains. I ate a big lunch (free) but left room for popcorn and Mr. Pibb. I still feel like a fink drinking Mr. Pibb but a man's gotta have something to drink at the flicks.
Imagine this: the United States is involved in the Civil War and Generals Ulysses S. Grant and Robert E. Lee can't figure out how to properly fight a war so they ship in some Japanese to show them the finer points of warfare. Well, that's about the caliber of believability of this movie. The Japanese Emperor in 1876 supposedly needed to hire some American Army officers to sail over and direct/train the Japanese troops how to defeat the Samurai warriors who have taken issue with the Emperor's westernization of their country.
The white officer that saves the day for the Japanese seemingly for both sides is Tom Cruise. I'm repulsed just typing this. What a crock. I deserve a medal for not walking out. Think I'll give myself at least an attaboy and some more popcorn tonight because I exhibited the courage of a Samurai warrior and stayed to the death. Ok, I didn't die, but the whole movie was slow and mediocre at best and descended into painful during the last fifteen minutes.
If there would have been any humor at all, I would have had visions of John Belushi with his sword hacking the counter. Who am I kidding? There was no humor and I still had visions of the old SNL skits. Steve McQueen and James Dean would never have starred in this piece of crap. Shame on you Tom Cruise. I'll cut you some slack because I'm sweet on Penelope Cruz but that's about it. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 71. Larry H.
I've been missing; went on a five day trip mostly in the Hill Country. Spent a lot of quality time with Monique H. and Eric H. As we were coming home the day after Thanksgiving on I-10 we crossed that famous waterway "Woman Hollering Creek." I think I know the guy that came up with that name... but I certainly do not know any women (personally) that would qualify for such a handle.
It felt good to get back to a theatre today even if it is a Saturday afternoon. I had seen the previews of this movie only and quickly concluded that if Tommy Lee is playing an Indian with a scowl on his face, it must be good.
New Mexico 1885. Tommy Lee Jones returns for unknown reasons after being estranged from his daughter Maggie (Cate Blanchett) for twenty years. Maggie is a single mom raising two girls in a harsh environment on the snowy plains. She is a "healer" and is very resentful of TLJ who has lived as an Indian with the long hair and the clothes. We do not learn of his true background until the story develops.
Renegade Indians kidnap Maggie's teenage daughter for sale in Mexico and Tommy Lee the Indian and Cate Blanchett with the determination of a momma lion are forced to make peace because the local authorities and military are no help. Maggie's youngest daughter Dot (Jenna Boyd) insists that she be allowed to go along to recovery Lilly (Evan Rachel Wood). I had flashbacks of John Wayne in "Big Jake" but that movie is tame compared to this Ron "Opie" Howard film.
This drama is full of violence, torture, suspense, love, hate, fear, harshness, the will to survive, and Christianity vs. witchcraft. My hands starting sweating in the first thirty minutes; I would take a few deep breaths during a "slow" part of the movie and then Opie would start back in again with the emotional action that kept me glued to my chair. The sweating and gasping for air continued throughout the movie. I saw others squirming in their seats and taking deep breaths so I wasn't the only wimp.
Cate Blanchett turned in an Oscar type performance as the strong woman who is up for the fight caused by men. Tommy Lee might have done a great job, but I can not be trusted because I am such a huge fan of Tommy Lee. This is a superb film by my childhood friend Ron Howard. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 95. Larry H.
Next week, the Larry H. family will be headin' to the Hill Country a la the Griswolds and I hope to see a movie or two during the trip. As I am driving the fam in our SUV, I hope the "Girl in the Ferrari" does not pull along side trying to entice me. I've noticed the Christie Brinkley-types have been stalking me lately. I told Monique H. to be ready lest she be caught off guard during the vacation.
Meanwhile, I slipped away during the noon hour to catch the latest Mike Myers film "The Cat in the Hat." I've never read the Dr. Seuss book (225 words), but I figured that if Austin Powers/Wayne Campbell is in it, then I should attend.
I think the movie/story is about kids learning how to have fun. Myers does a good job of cat comedy, but I laughed the most when Alec Baldwin's character was on the screen. Baldwin plays a snaky, two-faced salesman in love with the kids' hot momma. All the characters are a tad charming and the set design and special effects are ...let me think of just the right word..."adequate."
This is a kids' movie; do not be fooled. There were a total of three humans in attendance in theatre #16 at Loew's at The Fountains. A third of us walked out after about 40 minutes. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade NR W. Larry H.
It will be an instant classic. Is that possible? "Master and Commander The Far Side of the World" is the complete title. The movie is based on the novels of Patrick O'Brian. Russell Crowe is Jack Aubrey, captain of the British ship The Surprise circa 1805 and ordered to "...sink, burn, or take as a prize" the French ship The Acheron which is under a crew of French privateers.
The Acheron is faster, has more and bigger cannons, more men, and is built to withstand the cannon balls of The Surprise. Within ten minutes of the opening, Director Peter Weir displays a suspenseful and intimate battle between the two ships. The destruction and fighting reach a stand-off of sorts but both captains and crews know there will be other battles.
This movie is a combo of "Moby Dick," "Jaws," "The Alamo" and ...well you get the point. Cinematography and editing are outstanding. The guy (Paul Bettany) that played Russell Crowe's make-believe roommate in "A Beautiful Mind" had second billing as the ship's doctor. He and Crowe should be applauded for their performances but as soon as I recognized the "old roommate" I could not stop thinking about him. We are treated to first class character development of the ship's crew and the audience can easily relate to their plight. All the intimacy and action is from the perspective of the British crew and very little from the insides of the whale...er shark...I mean the French ship.
I need to cut these comments short because I got a late start. Had to work till 1:00 o'clock this afternoon. That ain't right. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 95. Larry H.
Some of you people think that I just sit around the office on Fridays waiting till noon with my feet propped up on my desk counting my money and telling other people what to do. So.
I didn't want to see "Matrix 3" or whatever it's called even though Tyson J. thinks that I'm a movie wimp just because I'm not a Matrix freak. Takes one to know one. I'll show Tyson; I'll go see a sweet holiday movie that's the exact opposite of "The Matrix Revolutions."
And derned if somebody driving a big-butted SUV didn't take my parking spot so I couldn't park my SUV in my appointed slot. If you are wondering which spot is assigned to me, please refer to my web page at larryharrison.com. I bought my ticket which is now the outrageous price of $6.00 matinee! I got my usual popcorn and soft drink but this time I added those chocolate covered raisins. Pretty good combo.
Ok, so there's this elf named Buddy (Will Farrell) who is really a human but is adopted by Bob Newhart who is really an elf who works for Ed Asner who really is the real Santa Claus. I know he is the real deal because I saw his sleigh and it is powered by a Clausometer fueled by Christmas spirit. Buddy is over six feet tall and he fits in as one of Santa's helpers about as well as Rudolph did before Santa recognized his special talents. Unfortunately, Buddy does not have any decipherable talents so his adopted father strongly suggests that he leave the North Pole and walk to New York City to hook up with his real dad.
His real dad is a shady children's book publisher whose office is in the Empire State building. Buddy's dad is played by James "Sonny Corleone" Caan who now walks slightly stooped over which I believe was caused by that terrible machine gunning episode that occurred in '72. Buddy and Dad do not hit it off at first primarily because Buddy runs around NYC in a green elf outfit singing cheerful songs, playing games, and eating candy. DNA tests confirm that Buddy is in fact the son nobody knew about.
About midway through this wannabe holiday classic, I began to doze and then I snapped out of it just before I began making noises... lest Tyson was right. After that brief interlude, I became even more determined to finish this movie along with the other three people in the theatre. During the last ten minutes of this flick, I actually became "verklept" a couple of times. Ok, so I'm a movie wimp! Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 80. Larry H.
I had great difficulty in making a decision about my Friday movie. At first I was going to see "Radio" and then switched to "The Gospel of John." But both movies got bumped due to scheduling. Between the office and a trip to my gunsmith, my Friday became unraveled so I decided at the last minute to see "Mystic River."
About thirty minutes before show time, my dear sister Suzanne B. drops by the office to share her good cheer and encouraged me to see "Mystic River" and declared in that tone of voice that only a sister can muster "...and Sean Penn's gonna win the Best Actor award...just you wait and see...Clint can make it happen." I hate it when my little sister has seen a movie before I've even had the chance and thinks she knows everything. She's a pretty shrewd lady and she was right about this movie and Sean Penn.
"Mystic River" is a masterpiece. The screenplay is adapted from Dennis Lehane's book. I was totally emotionally engaged in the opening minutes and my focus did not change. I had to stop eating popcorn and milkduds due to emotional upset. I was able to get a grip midway through the movie and finish my popcorn but it took some effort.
The movie begins with a flashback about three decades when three young boys are playing in the street when one of them is taken off in a car by two men and sexually molested for four days then returned to the neighborhood. The three boys' relationship is never the same. Their lives become entangled in adulthood when the daughter of one of them (Sean Penn) is murdered. One of the last people to see the 19 year old girl alive is Dave (Tim Robbins) and therefore the childhood friend becomes an early suspect. The third little boy, Sean, (Kevin Bacon) is the Massachusetts State Policeman that investigates the case.
While these three leading men were superb in their roles, the supporting cast of Laurence Fishburne (Sean's partner), Laura Linney (Penn's wife), and Marcia Gay Harden (Robbins wife) were noteworthy. It was a great cast and some of them will not get nominated because there were too many outstanding performances. All credit is due Clint Eastwood. He's even credited with "Music by Clint Eastwood"...what's up with that? I know Clint can't sing; I've recently heard him attempt to knock out a few tunes from "Paint Your Wagon" and it was painful, remember? Footnote: Eli "The Ugly" Wallach plays a minor role as a liquor store owner. "The Good" must've enjoyed directing his old friend from the Spaghetti Western days.
If you people have not seen this movie, then stop procrastinating and go, but you need to either take a friend for support or take inventory of your spiritual condition to ensure your fitness for the endeavor. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 95. Larry H.
Uma Thurman is the baddest of the bad. Uma, who played Mrs. Wallace in "Pulp Fiction," once again teams up with Quentin Tarantino. QT is the writer-director and the movie is appropriately Tarantinoesque - discombobulated and super violent. There is more blood spilled on the screen than any movie ever. We are expected to forgive the violence because the blood sprays out of the arteries when a limb is severed rather than a slow natural gush.
Uma's character is Black Mambo, an assassin of monumental killing skills especially with a samurai sword or she can bite your lip off if necessary. She is a very talented professional and is hell bent on seeking revenge against those who done her wrong. Those bad people are a group of women led by Bill. Kill Bill
The women assassins are Daryl Hannah (with a patch over one eye), Vivica A. Fox and Lucy Liu. I liked Ms. Liu the most.
This is volume 1 because Tarantino claims the audience can not stand 3 hours of this intensity and violence so we will see volume 2 in February 2004. When I sensed that this volume was about to end, I was glad and quite content to wait until February. I think this will again be an important and influential film, but it ain't no Pulp Fiction. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 88. Larry H.
If you can't complain about the weather then what can you complain about. But on this fine October 3rd the sky is clear; the low is about 60 with a high around 84. I guess I need something else to complain about. "Take my wife...please." I know that was cheap but I felt desperate.
I went to this movie because the word on the street is that my boy Bill Murray turned in a great performance. There can only be a great performance if I say so. And I say so. Billy Boy's portrayal of an aging movie star in Tokyo to make a cheesy whiskey commercial is spectacular. If he does not get a nomination it will be a crime against Nature.
Murray's character is Bob Harris; a lonely man in a strange culture who bumps into a young married woman (Scarlett Johansson) who is equally alone and lonely. Tokyo and the Japanese culture are not just a backdrop for this movie but is very much the fabric and an important setting for these wayward souls. This is the epitome of forbidden love: both are married and want to maintain family loyalty...and there is a huge age difference.
Director Sofia Coppola (Francis's girl) skillfully guides us through the stages of caring and love between Bob and Charlotte. But Coppola shields the audience from Hollywood clichés while presenting an intriguing plot that made me pay attention because I was not sure of the ending and the ultimate outcome of this budding romance. Or is it a romance at all. A subtle touch on the shoulder, brief hand holding, and quick stares are our Coppola clues. Sofia has escaped from daddy's giant shadow.
As is usually the case, this female co-star matches Murray's understated Bob with her own memorable performance. I guess her momma didn't name her Scarlett for nothing.
Grade 90. Larry H.
This movie was painful. I wanted to walk out about mid-way but could not muster the courage. That little know-it-all man in the back of my proverbial brain said for me to stick it out till the finish. I did and I'm glad I saw the end but I was thrilled when it was over.
If I wasn't getting the big bucks for my efforts, I wouldn't bother with commenting but you people need to be warned. So here is the warning: DON'T GO SEE THIS STUPID MOVIE.
Ok, I admit it had its clever moments but overall the story was unbelievable and exasperating. Ben Stiller and Drew Barrymore are a cute young couple looking to buy just the right house/apartment but can only afford a duplex in Brooklyn with a rent controlled tenant upstairs. That tenant is an irritating old lady from Ireland that causes havoc in the lives of Ben and Drew. And I couldn't care less and prayed that God would send down a bomb and blow them all up; hence the God Bomb Theory. I suppose the flaw in the God Bomb Theory is that if God did send down a bomb, it might take me out, too. Never thought of that until now. Darn the luck.
I've had a good day: Fort Bend County Fair parade this morning, then to the movies and I'm going to my niece/cheerleader's football game tonight. The whole family is meeting for Mexican food before the game in West Columbia. Gotta love America! Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 72. Larry H.
I was feeling good and now I feel better. This was a feel-good movie. I also feel good about my timing. I told my crack staff that I was going to lunch and it might take awhile. I know it's only Wednesday but I've been busy the last two Fridays and had developed a resentment: went to a memorial service for a high school friend on one Friday and my little brother had a heart cath last Friday. I requested John H. to get the doctors to move along rapidly so I could get credit for visiting him in the hospital and still make my Friday movie. He tried but the whole "operation" took too long and alas foiled again. Brother John is doing just fine and will probably out live us all; thanks for asking.
Michael Caine and Robert Duvall are two old codgers living out their lives in rural Texas circa 1959 after having lived an adventurous life in North Africa. The brothers Garth (Caine) and Hub (Duvall) are believed to have "millions hidden away" which brings out the crazy relatives and salesmen hoping to get some of their money. There is also speculation that they were bank robbers. Their skill with shotguns only adds to the tale.
The brothers' floozy niece drops off her kid (Haley Joel Osment) for a "short visit" with instructions to attempt to find the mysterious money. The kid/Walter has never lived in the country and doesn't know a pig from Shinola. But he is endearing and we know that Caine and Duvall are charming so the chemistry is right. The movie is primarily about the relationship among these three. The old geezers admit up front that we "...don't nothing about kids." They eat mostly red meat, no veggies, shoot fish with their 12 gauge shotguns, and buy a "used" lion so they can turn it loose and shoot it.
Garth tells Walter about their Lawrence of Arabia/Zorro past life in North Africa that began with abduction into the French Foreign Legion in 1914, a rich evil sheik with one eye, and a beautiful princess named Jasmine. It's a wild story but fun. And it feels good and it's simple. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 89. Larry H.
Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star
Movies are still weak these days but I thought little Dickie Roberts starring David Spade had promise. I had to go to AMC which is a bad omen but I had no choice due to scheduling and Monique H. Admission: I bought a MR. Pibb and almost liked it. But it ain't a DP so don't go all soft drink on me.
Dickie/Spade is a has-been child actor from a wacky sitcom from the '70's. Grownup Dickie works as a parking attendant and is dying to make a comeback so he can "have some love" not the money. His agent and emotional support is Jon Lovitz who plays a character that Jon Lovitz would play on SNL so you get the picture.
The premise is that Dickie did not have a childhood so he is not "normal" per Rob Reiner the movie director who is casting a part in a new movie "ideal for Dickie." Dickie plays poker with other child star losers and bad mouths current movie stars. Dickie gets the brainy idea to hire a normal family in the burbs to allow him to live with them and gain a childhood experience. Are you with me on this? He hires the fam and most of the movie is about Dickie learning about life from a child's perspective so he can get the part in the movie and live happily ever after.
The first third of the movie was very funny; the middle third was a yawner and the final third was funny and had some charm. Who should see this movie? A) My two sisters Ellie May and Susie May (we call them the May sisters) who are 40 something and dearly loved all the campy sitcoms of the '70s. B) Teenagers C) Fans of Leif Garrett, Danny Bonaduce, Corey Feldman, Emmanuel Lewis, Alyssa Milano, Dustin Diamond, Barry Williams etc.
Do not leave too quickly after the movie, all the child stars currently alive (Wally, Arnold, Marsha) sing a song a la "We Are the World" and it is pretty interesting. This movie has cult possibilities. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 85. Larry H.
We need more wind in our movie sails; me thinks the current movies (save Open Range) sucketh. I beg your pardon but Johnny Depp's pirating has caused me to speaketh in old English and quite stupidly sayeth I.
This movie is based on a Disney tale of a fair maiden (sometimes called Missy) and her dueling lovers with Depp causing havoc by jumping ships and sides every fifteen minutes. There are a lot of Scallywags and the undead, or the already dead as they prefer, in the mix.
At one point in the movie, I thought my dream was about to come true: the two rival ships and their crews were squared off and firing cannons into the hulls of the ships at point bland range and I took that as the ultimate answer to the "God Bomb Theory" but alas most survived and the movie continued.
I recommend this movie to 25 year old single people. It could be a good date movie. I am not sure because...well I think you know. Personally I do not care if you ever see this movie. I saw it because I was desperate and it started at a convenient time... and it's Friday.
This is as good a time as ever to reveal to you people some of my upcoming plans. I am going to be a race car driver. Probably NASCAR. I have been watching some races and I think I'm ready. I need a sponsor. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 75. Larry H.
I knew this movie was about cowboys and range wars so I had planned to tell stories about my experience as a cowboy and working cattle during my youth and roping cows etc. But decided that such tales would detract from this movie so I will not. Note: I lied about roping cows but I did rope some goats; guess that makes me a goat-roper.
When I have just seen a really great movie, I do not listen to the radio on the way back to the office so I can savor the experience. The radio was silent today. This movie set in 1882 "out West" starring Robert Duvall and Kevin Costner has the drama and emotion of "High Noon"; the reality of "Unforgiven"; the gun battles of "Tombstone's" O.K. Corral and the charm of "Lonesome Dove." We're talking Hall of Fame!
I'd heard that Robert Duvall's character (Boss Spearman) was very similar to his Lonesome Dove's Augustus McCrae. I did not believe it; that would be like saying John Wayne played the same character in many of his movies...ok, so that's a bad example. But it is true. I was thrilled to see Duvall resurrect the courage and philosophy of Gus. It was like seeing an old friend.
I think Duvall is one of the great actors of all time, but the surprise was that Costner shines while letting Duvall be the big dog. Costner's character (Charley Waite) was awesome. You people that don't like Costner need to give him another chance because he's back Jack.
Annette Bening plays Sue the caring and loving nurse who brought up memories of Grace Kelly and Katherine Hepburn. Hey, Larry H., don't you think you are going a little overboard. Nope. When Bening looks at Costner and calls him "Charley" I thought Hepburn's Rose was talking to Bogart's Mr. Allnut in "African Queen."
Costner directed and produced this movie as well. Did I mention that the cinematography was spectacular? Nominations a plenty! I'm in a hurry because I'm going to stop off at AMC on the way home to see this movie again. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 95. Larry H.
I had lunch with two 21 year old college guys - Seth M. and Brian G. - their summer stories alone range from Europe to Alaska. One of them turned 21 two days ago and looked a little tired. By agreement we ate close to Loew's so I would not have far to travel for my one o'clock start time. If I was 21 I would ... oh never mind.
I got my parking spot which always makes me happy and I saw the Loew's Manager as I waltzed in. He gave me the nod of acknowledgement. I responded with just a slight tilt of the head with a wry smile without seeming to kiss up. No words were spoken but I think he respects what I do.
Special Weapons and Tactical unit of Los Angeles has a reputation for elite training and personnel and serves as the setting for this movie. Samuel L. Jackson is the old Sarg called Hondo who returns to his SWAT unit to recruit some young guns to improve morale and make for a good yarn. The four recruits are all from central casting led by Colin I Make Six Movies A Year And I'm Even A Euro Farrell. This is a formula movie with cool guns and action. The bad guy is Diane Lane's hot lover from "Unfaithful" Olivier Martinez who plays a drug lord that offers One Hundred Million Dollars for anybody who springs him from jail. There are many crazies in California so let the games begin! This kind of thing will not happen when Arnold becomes The Governornator. But until we have the results from the recall election, Hondo and his boys and one girl (Michelle Rodriguez) will have to quell the turmoil and shoot and save.
There were 95 in attendance which included 8 females. You've been warned. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 82. Larry H.
Fridays are casual day at my office so I wore a Hawaiian shirt. I thought I looked appropriate for attending a movie and helping others with their legal stuff. I have a nice job and going to a movie midday is part of the job description. Good gig.
And we all have to make choices; some are tougher than others. Picking a movie today was most challenging. I had decided to see "Finding Nemo" because you people have been giving it rave reviews and I did not want to see J-Lo and Ben-Lo turn into Jell-o. But even this job can cause problems occasionally and I missed my appointed time to see the 11:15 showing of Nemo and then it became complicated and before I knew it I was willing to catch the third "American Pie" installment featuring the marriage of Jim and Michelle.
The full cast returns with a few new faces but it's still primarily a combo of 12 year old male sexual humor and bathroom jokes. If you did not see the two previous American Pie movies then don't bother with this one. But if you are demented enough and you know the characters played by Jason Biggs, Seann William Scott (Stifler), Eugene Levy, and Alyson Hannigan the band camp nympho whose father is Fred Willard, then you should accept the wedding invitation and see this final chapter of American Pie.
Just about the time I was praying for God to send down a bomb to blow up this movie something would happen that would cause me to whisper "not yet Lord, give 'em another chance." This back and forth interest in the movie was my M-O throughout but I admit that the last 20 minutes are pretty funny. At times the audience openly moaned, gagged, and pleaded; don't see that kind of behavior in a theatre very often but this gross-out flick justified the outbursts. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 79. Larry H.
I had to go to Tinseltown for this 12:40 pm movie and was running a little late because I had stopped off to meet with my gunsmith Mikhail the Russian. When I poked my head around the corner to begin looking for a seat, I was horrified that the theatre was almost completely full and I feared that I would have to sit by someone. But, alas, I found two seats on the wing and settled in with a few minutes to spare. This was the biggest Friday midday crowd I have ever seen. Bigger than Star Wars. We're talking $60+ million opening weekend. Everyone will be and has been talking about it.
I did not get emotional and/or teary-eyed until about 15 minutes into the film. There were several episodes of goose bumps.
The show is about a bunch of losers so I could relate. Seabiscuit was a famous horse in the 1930's that was too small, mal-shaped and had a bum leg...but could run real fast and had heart. The horse owner (Jeff Bridges) had a broken heart and a broken marriage but was a great salesman; made his money selling cars so he knew something about horsepower. The trainer (Chris "Sheriff July Johnson" of Lonesome Dove, Cooper) was too old and a worn out cowboy. The jockey (Tobey Mcguire) was too tall, too big, and blind in one eye. And all three humans knew poverty and rejection.
The movie begins in New York City in 1910 and eases into the depression in California by revealing the lives and connections of the three main characters and their ties and love for Seabiscuit. The backdrop of depression-era poverty and desperation is central. That environment fostered horse racing because a person could "...turn bad luck into good" at the track. This is a story about second chances.
The acting is superb. The three men will have to fight over nominations. The movie will be in the early running for multiple awards. Heck, the sound engineers might get a prize for the dynamic and authentic sound affects during the various horse races and Randy Newman provided the music. The scenery was beautiful. Director-Screenwriter Gary Ross has hit a home run. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 93. Larry H.
"Go...and tell no one that you have seen me at this place," said he in a whisper. I apologize for going to this movie but I wanted to start the holiday weekend in a celebratory mood. I actually liked "Legally Blond" and Reese Witherspoon has that cutesy spunk that sometimes does not make me puke.
Ms. Witherspoon starred and was the executive producer of this "sequel failure" so I'm guessing she will make a ton of money and kick up her spiked heals all the way to the bank. About 45 minutes into this flick I realized that my mind was wandering (dreaming of James Coney Island with cheese and onions) and becoming slightly dull. The dulling of my mind scared me for I feared that Reese's brand of blond had bled into my brain. So I leaned slightly forward in my chair and kept on going.
Happy Fourth of July. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 69 W. Larry H.
Terminator 3: The Rise of the Machines
I was not the least bit disappointed. It was big fun. I was very worried that we would have another "sequel failure" syndrome. Perhaps the movie was a success because, as you might have notice, Arnold and I have been working out. We are both in our fifties and need a little tuck here and there. I certainly was up for the movie and I think Arnold held his own with the new TX terminator played by Kristanna Loken who has just the right mix of femininity and I'm-gonna-kill-you-and-John Conner-no-matter-what attitude.
The first thirty minutes are wonderful if you like fast action and tremendous clashes and crashes, giant trucks, motorcycles, naked Arnold and Kristanna, bombs, guns, and mass death. Man, I'm getting a little emotional just thinking about how much fun it is to watch a human/robot fight, shoot, and re-construct body parts as soon as they are ripped and/or blown off. I was totally hooked when early in the movie Arnold got out of a pickup in his typical black leather outfit carrying a high capacity shotgun.
The plot is basically the same: Arnold is "back" as the protector of John Conner and to keep him alive while Kristanna the fox is trying to terminate him. New twist: John has an old girlfriend from junior high that joins the fray. John Conner is now a young man that is "off the grid" which means that he is lying low with no phone number or designated home even though he knows in the back of his mind that he still is the savior of all mankind. All the characters are likeable and the movie has more funny scenes and lines than T1 and T2. I laughed heartily often. That Arnold can be a funny guy.
When I got back to my office building, the landlord was serving free snow cones and handing out miniature American flags. You gotta love America! Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 92. Larry H.
"Only five more days until T3." That's the way I consoled myself while trying to pick a movie to see on this fine Friday afternoon. Okay, so I went to an eleven o'clock movie, but who's counting? First of all, who goes to a movie at eleven o'clock in the morning and starts sucking down popcorn and cokes? Cool people.
"28 Days Later" has an opening scene that will grab you with fear and gore and hold onto your emotions for the rest of the movie. The setting is present day London twenty eight days after some experimental chimpanzees that have been infected with a virus get out and begin infecting the human population of the earth. The "infection" spreads rapidly and is simply described as an infection of "rage" with an innate desire to kill and infect the non-infected. Our heroes are the non-infected who struggle to stay alive at a time when most people are dead and the cities are abandoned. "Staying alive is as good as it gets" is the initial philosophy of the desperate survivors.
This is a gripping screenplay that attempts to challenge the audiences' feelings about human beings and how far they will go in their attempt to survive. And what humans will do to each other. A young man, woman and 15 year old girl are our conscience who struggle with love, kindness and the ability to brutally kill another human if needed. The music and sounds are eerie and powerful. The action is mysterious, scary, and sad. Blood, biting, and brutality.
This movie is not for everyone; not even for most people even though the crowd of 90 was impressive. Example: Monique H. should not go, but if you are male 25-35 then you should consider it. I was drained as I left the theatre at Tinseltown Cinemark. I might have to rent a movie on the way home just to calm my nerves. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 89. Larry H.
Here it is Summer Eve and the thermometer in my car registered a mere 108 degrees. Great time for an inside sport such as movie going. The 11:45 am showing of "The Hulk" was in Theatre 17, one of the big theatres at Loew's at the Fountains and there were about 125 folks already in their seats when I arrived. A real cross section of people so the movie will probably be a big hit. I was the last to arrive because Staysi (ticket clerk) gave me a ticket for Theatre 10 which also started about the same time as Hulk. There were only five other people in Theatre 10 and four of them were Blue Hairs. Being the quick study that I am, I concluded, after about ten minutes, that this "mature" audience does not seem like a Hulk audience so I started my investigation and solved the theatre caper. Some people would check their ticket but I prefer to enter the theatre and peruse the audience and then decide if I have landed safely.
About two years, maybe two and half years ago I got a phone call from Director Ang Lee. He started off slowly, "...hey, Larry H. you are a child of the 60's and watched The Hulk on TV, do you think the audience is ready for some really deep psychological background and motivation for how young Bruce became the angry green man with giant muscles?" We already know that I am a quick study so I cautiously, yet respectfully, responded with, "...shoot no Ang, may I call you Ang? We just want to see Hulk turn green and kick some butt!" Ang went on to say, "...you're wrong, Larry H., may I call you Larry H?... I have a lot of cinematic skills and I think I can make a 140 minute movie and cover all bases." "Yes, you can call me Larry H. but trust me, Angster, I have been writing an email movie thing and sending it out to my pals for over five years and I have the pulse right here." Then Ang became a little miffed and said something about "Sense and Sensibilities" (1995) and an Academy Award for "Wo hu cang long" (2000)then started hollering "...can you hear me NOW?" And I just let it go.
Some time you just can't help some people. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 71. Larry H.
I went to the 11:40 am showing and as I bought my ticket I confirmed that the opening of "Dumb and Dumberer" began at 1:05 pm. I figured that "Hollywood Homicide" was going to be dumbest and I needed a backup in case I had to walk. But wrong cinema breath! This is a sleeper.
This movie is a mild mix of "Beverly Hills Cop" and "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World" with just a twist of ...er...I'm not sure. But when is the last time you saw a Harrison Ford movie that even came close to being compared to an Eddie Murphy movie? The story and its characters got funnier as the plot developed. I apologize for using the word "plot" because the murder of four rappers by a music record executive is not important. The show is about the goofy, loveable characters played by Ford and Josh Hartnett.
They are LAPD homicide detectives but Det. Joe Galivan (Ford) has a real estate business on the side and a pile of debt and Det. K. C. Calden eats bean sprouts, does yoga, wants to be an actor, and is a "stud." These guys sneaked up on me. Toward the end of the show I was pulling for them and laughing with them...at them. Belly laughs in the closing scene. And great close ups and discussions of pistols (Beretta and Smith and Wesson).
Psychics, hookers, helicopters, car chase scenes, broken hearts and dreams, golden oldies and rap, Cadillacs and a Mustang Saleen convertible. What more could a person want? This movie was a pleasant surprise which is refreshing considering the movies out right now are pretty lame. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 88. Larry H.
I'm 2 old to see "2 Fast 2 Furious." I finished the movie which demonstrates that I like fast cars and that I am entering yet another first phase of a mid-life crisis. In 1970, I had a yellow and black Pontiac Lemans with glass packs. Ms. Monique H. took a ride or 2 in that beast. I'm planning to replace her. Not Monique but the Lemans. Think I'll get a GTO this time.
Eric H. told me earlier today that he and his posse were planning to see this movie tonight so I had to show him that I was hip enough to go to this movie and see the fast small cars and fast small bikinis. And anybody that uses the word "hip" ain't hip.
I almost enjoyed this show and found the characters bumping up against charming. Paul Walker and Tyrese are the stars as the drivers with "wheel skills." So naturally they have to go undercover to bust a drug lord by driving real fast and saving the day.
If you want to see large piles of hormones popping out on the screen and in the audience, go see this flick tonight at the local AMC. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 80. Larry H.
I asked the concession clerk about salt and instead of pointing me to the shaker, he handed me a #3 bag with popcorn salt covering the bottom. I tried to apply the salt periodically to my popcorn but it was too dark in the theatre so I had to take a pinch between my thumb and index finger and sprinkle it over my popcorn. I'm not comfortable dispensing salt via the finger method. The movie was not much better.
This is a "remake" of the old Peter Falk/Alan Arkin movie circa 1979. The original was classically funny. Serpentine! This recycled version is...let me see... how do I say...decidedly mediocre. It peaked at mediocre/not entertaining early and never pulled out of it. This time Michael Douglas plays the Falk secret agent character that wrecks the lives of two families and the young couple about to be married and particularly punishes Albert Brooks/Arkin the podiatrist with his almost clever hi-jinks. I deserve a medal for not walking out. I only have one word for this movie: "Bruce Almighty!" Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 75. Larry H.
I saw a fellow that looked familiar ahead of me at AMC. He was walking fast and I could not catch up to him to get a good look, but I thought he might be my brother in law. He was wearing shorts and sandals; I caught a glimpse and hollered "...hey brother in law" are you going to theatre 7 to see "A Mighty Wind"? And he said yes "...but don't tell my wife (my sister)." He seemed very happy about "slipping off" to go to the movies at noon on Friday and I personally was very proud of him; I've always thought he was made of the right stuff. Anyway, being that I'm a member of the Man's Fraternity that never reveals the secrets of another man that has done something sneaky, I am not going to reveal the identity of this person. I have two bros in law, so we'll just have to go with initials - B. B. His wife routinely reads these movie comments, but I think I've confuse her enough that she might think it's Suzanne's husband.
I've waiting for months for this movie. The writers, cast, director etc are the same for "A Mighty Wind" as created "Waiting for Guffman" and "Best in Show." The number six ranked movie for the year 2000 according to the Sugar Awards was "Best in Show." I think we can all agree that #6 is elite. So, I was very excited about this movie.
Eugene Levy and Christopher Guest team up to write and create this mock-umentary about three washed up folk singer groups from the 50' and 60's that come to New York for a special reunion performance at Town Hall (Carnegie). The formula is similar to "Best in Show"; much character development and the audience joins the journey of the balding, pot-bellied performers that head to The Big Apple for their "comeback" concert. Most are long ago out of the music industry and settled into simple lives; such as Mickey who is married to a guy in the bladder management industry that specializes in "...short flow medical devices."
The groups are: The Folksmen; The New Main Street Singers; and Mitch and Mickey. You choose your favorite Kingston Trio/Blowing in the Wind type group of that era and you have the basis for this satire. The movie is very well done, well-written and acted, but it was not funny enough. I wanted knee-slappin', tears-in-the-eyes hilarious, but instead I got "cute." It broke my heart. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 84. Larry H.
Choosing a movie based on one's proclivities is helpful, but not essential. As a general rule, I do not like cartoons, animations, and special effects kick and kill. Summary example: this movie is a mix of Star Wars, Terminator, and The Matrix. I liked some of those movies and walked out on The Matrix. Two out of three ain't bad. I never know; I keep trying but the odds are low.
X2 is the sequel to Marvel's X-Men which I did not see. I do not plan to see X3 etc. There are aspects of this movie that I found interesting and entertaining but I did not care about the characters...er Mutants. Almost everyone in this flick is a mutant or attending a Mutant High School. That's cute.
If this movie is anything close to the truth, then there are many mutants living among us. In the movie, one of the primary ways of identifying a genuine mutant is to look deeply into their eyes. I have eyeballed some of you people and I'm afraid that some of you are certified mutants. You know who you are and I would appreciate it if you would not eat my face off. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 69 W. Larry H.
I was running late, but there was no line at the concession stand so I got my coke and popcorn in record time and eased into to my seat as the opening credits began. I was not angry. The movie starts in 1978 Brooklyn when Adam Sandler's character as a child is being humiliated by the school bully - pulling down of pants and atomic wedges; nothing that hasn't happened to us all.
Unfortunately, Sandler's grownup character might have some lingering issues that comically escalate into a New York judge sentencing him to Anger Management counseling. The very well-known counselor is a straggly-bearded Jack Nicholson who appears to have taken a few too many "trips" during the '60's. Sandler must sit in on some group therapy sessions of Dr. Buddy Rydell (Nicholson) and ultimately Dr. Buddy moves in with Sandler for a phase of Intense Therapy. Let the frolicking begin. I had visions of John Travolta's "Michael" and Tab Hunter's "Damn Yankees" with a slice of Sandler's deadpan humor and Jack's over-the-top antics.
I laughed a lot during this movie. The plot and characters were not very appealing, but the humor was nice. Throw in Marisa Tomei and a host of other characters and cameos and you got yourself a funny movie. Not a great movie, but some laughs for a Friday afternoon. It will be even funnier if you rent it and watch it at home; it will be at Blockbuster in early fall. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 86. Larry H.
I've been having fun this week. Still basking in the glow of the celebration of 22 years of marriage to the lovely Monique H. and here it is Friday and time to go to the movies. Gotta love America!
Colin Farrell is the current Bad Boy of Hollywood, but he demonstrates his acting prowess in this flick primarily by showing how a shallow man acts when a sniper with a rifle has him trapped in a Manhattan phone booth while insisting that "Stu" come clean and admit his sins of infidelity. "If you put down that phone, Stu, I'll shoot you." Having killed several people previously and popped a pimp just outside the phone booth, Farrell's Stu is sweating bullets. That scene is pretty much the story. Would have been a great Twilight Zone episode; thirty minutes max including commercials. This movie is mercifully only 81 minutes, but still 51 minutes too long.
The bad guy sniper repeatedly cocks his rifle (we hear the sound only; no visuals of the sniper and his .30 caliber rifle) but unfortunately the sound does not match. That was disconcerting to me.
The story was too silly and uneventful for me. Director Joel Schumacher did the best he could with this script, but he should have consulted Rod Serling. Rock 'n Roll
Grade 78. Larry H.
March 28th. It was raining as I drove to the theatre and it was raining almost nonstop during the story of this movie because the backdrop of the action is a hurricane in Panama. Samuel L. Jackson is the Drill Sergeant from hell who leads six Army Ranger trainees into the jungle for an ultimate session of combat exercises and things appear to go very badly and people die. DEA Agent John Travolta is called in to help unravel the mystery.
How can a movie with these two stars go wrong? Let me count the ways: 1) story not believable 2) characters not likeable 3) acting not good 4) love interest not sexy 5) unfolding plot not fair 6) NOT
My expectations were high and my heartbreak was real. Me and Samuel L. and Johnnie T. have been tight since "Pulp Fiction" and I wanted to go on another ride with them. Not gonna happen. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 72. Larry H.
I've been to my chiropractor (Dr. Steve) three times this week; massage therapist once, and Monique H. rubbed some blue stuff on my shoulder and it still hurts. I decided that since I already had a pain in the neck and I've been real busy here at work...what with the semi-scientific poll and all...that I would go see a light hearted movie.
So be careful what you wish for. This movie is real light. Helium light. It's so light your momma wears combat boots. Huh? It's that darn movie; it made me blonde.
Gwyneth Paltrow must have been paid a ton of money to star; she knows better, but I guess they caught her a little tight for some extra jack. She wants to be a flight attendant and get out of her trailer trash hometown and follow her destiny but she meets a boy but she wants a career and she has to make some choices. And I didn't care a whit what happened to her or anyone involved in the story. This was a classic example of the God Bomb Theory = "please God... get us out of this misery and send down a bomb and blow up this movie." I guess I've been bad and was being punished because something would not allow me to walk this movie. Could it be Satan? Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 69. Larry H.
In 1970, I was in the Army at Fort Polk, and he-ain't-heavy-he's-my-bro, David H., was in the Marines. I asked him who was the baddest in the Marines and he said "Recon." Then I quickly concluded that they must be the baddest in all the land. And Sgt. David said "...no, man, the baddest of the bad are the Navy S.E.A.L.S." I've been knowing about the SEALS since then, they appear to be the best trained and capable fighting soldier in the world.
And if you have any doubts, then go see Bruce Willis lead a team of the baddest in jungle warfare in present day Nigeria. There has been a coup and the rebels are engaged in ethnic cleansing which means "slaughter everyone that does not think, act, or go to the same church as you." With that as a bloody background, Lt. A.K. Waters (Willis) and his squad are ordered to parachute into a hostile area and extract an American doctor (Monica Bellucci), a priest and two nuns. But the doctor does not want to leave without some of the refugees that will surely be killed/tortured unless they are also "extracted" by the Navy SEALS. That's a problem for the SEALS because there is limited space on the helicopters used for the extraction at LZ Alpha. Saving everyone causes the classic moral human survival instinct versus "doing the right thing." Not to mention expanding the very narrow orders of engagement and the mission. Note: Bellucci is knockout gorgeous even with jungle mud on her face; I saw her interviewed recently and her hair is as long as her legs so you will be seeing much more of Ms. Monica.
If you enjoying almost nonstop suspense and combat (bloods, bullets, and bombs) then this is the movie for you. The noon crowd was near one hundred, so it will be a box office hit (20+ million opening) with or without you. If you are wondering if it might be too violent yada, yada, it is. I liked this movie from beginning to end and I'm thinking about joining the SEALS; please pray for me. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 91. Larry H.
This movie spells about as good as Kevin Spacey. Ok, Larry H., we'll bite "how do you know how Kevin Spacey smells?" I know things. The preacher's daughter told me. She's a 20 year old red headed UT student and while Spacey was in Austin about a year ago filming "David Gale" Ms. Katie P. met and "hugged" Mr. Spacey. All very innocent I'm sure, but she evidently got close enough to take a whiff. And since she knows that I admire his work and she loves movies and I am her favorite wannabe movie critic, she dutifully reported the Spacey sighting to me -"...he smelled great!" Please don't tell the preacher about this because he can become quite agitated when he thinks his oldest is at college carousing with Hollywood types.
Spacey plays David Gale, a Harvard educated philosophy professor at the University of Texas...er, I mean University of Austin. Guess they could not sully the good name of UT with this movie. However, there are numerous shots of the UT campus and other Austin landmarks. And Houston and Huntsville.
Gale is also dedicated to abolishing the death penalty and is a well known member of the Death Watch organization. He loses his job because of a trumped up rape charge (later dropped), his wife abandons him, he becomes alcoholic and all that goes with a downward spiraling life. Then, he is convicted of killing and raping his colleague and closest Death Watch friend Constance played superbly by Laura Linney.
The movie covers the four days before Gale is slated to be executed by lethal injection. His story is revealed through a series of death row interviews/flashbacks by a reporter (Kate "Titanic" Winslet) from a New York magazine known for her integrity and ability to "protect her sources." Winslet's beauty could not be hidden beneath jeans and stringy hair. She can act, too. Spacey turned in a yeoman's effort and let the ladies shine. This is a good whodunit with a crisp intriguing storyline. I was tired and jittery when I left the theatre. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 90. Larry H.
It was raining pretty hard and often this morning so I got some extra sleep. Too wet to go to the shooting range so I thought I would take a hint from a high school student who highly recommended this movie. It's rated R for nudity etc but I guess Curtis W. could handle it. I know he's smart when it comes to movies, but I did not plan to see this one even though Director Pedro Almodovar received a nomination this week.
Almodovar, who also wrote the screenplay, was nominated instead of Peter Jackson for "Lord of the Rings" and I was upset about that "injustice" until I saw this movie. It's a masterpiece in Spanish! Subtitles are not a problem for this wonderful story so don't get all English on me.
This is a story about Benigno, Alicia, Marco, and Lydia. I call them by their first names because the character development was deep enough for me to become intimate with each. Benigno (Javier Camara) is a young male nurse who falls in love with coma-stricken Alicia (Leonor Watling) a beautiful ballerina injured in a car accident. Benigno tenderly cares for his patient and believes in "talking to her" because she might be able to understand him and he is willing to carry on his one-sided relationship with Alicia in spite of her condition. Marco (Dario Grandinetti) is a writer who becomes involved with Lydia (Rosario Flores) who is a famous bullfighter per her father's wishes. Lydia is gored by a bull and also ends up in a coma at El Bosque clinic where Alicia is already a patient.
Benigno and Marco become friends while caring and loving the two comatose women. We get to know the four characters through flashbacks, dreams, and cleverly through the vehicle of a silent movie. This movie is about love, loneliness and being alone, loyalty, sadness, fear, courage, illness and its stresses, rejection, depression and death. No laughter.
Three of the four actors would have received nominations if the academy had seen this movie. My favorite was Lydia/Rosario Flores. She cried at weddings and stared in the eyes of a charging bull. And she was deeply compassionate, loving, passionate, and flawed. She had a Tomboy quality with raw beauty and a big Roman nose, golden skin, dark penetrating eyes, and big black frizzy hair. The movie took a dip when she was off screen. However, Enigno/Camara and Marco/Grandinetti were outstanding.
I am terribly conflicted about my Best Picture nomination list now. I was very comfortable with the five nominations until this afternoon. I will be coming out soon with the Sugar Awards which are my choices for 2002 and then you people get to vote in the Larry H's Sixth Annual Semi-Scientific Academy Awards Poll the week before the awards. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 93. Larry H.
I should have gone to "Daredevil." I could have at least mocked Ben J-Lo Affleck. I really liked "Shanghai Noon" which was the first movie starring Jackie Chan as a Chinese John Wayne and Owen "Nose" Wilson as his "sidekick" Roy O'Bannon.
This "sequel" was set in 1887 and Chan is now the local sheriff out West and Nose is whooping it up in New York, but admits things aren't going very well for him and he actually is a "...30 year old waiter-gigolo." If you can buy into that lunacy, you will be entertained by this movie. And Chan's father who lives in the Forbidden City, China, is killed by a mean ole Englishman who steals the Imperial Seal and won't give it back. So Sheriff John Wayne hooks up with the lying, womanizing Nose and they head to London to get the seal back. And there is a pretty Chinese girl for Nose to coddle.
Owen Wilson is funny and Chan plays a good setup karate/kung fu guy for Nose. Good one liner: "...don't go all Chinese on me..." I laughed and slept during this movie...often. Please don't see this movie until you have seen the nominated movies. Leave this one for viewing on the USA channel; it will not take long for this Shanghai Sham to arrive on your local cable menu. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 70.5 Larry H.
I got my usual parking spot at Loew's so I knew all was well with the world. When I entered theatre 18 in a timely fashion for the noon show, I was mildly shock that I had to go all the way to the top of the theatre to ensure that my seat was not close enough to another human for them to touch or eyeball me. I think you know what I'm talking about; that awkward moment when you are searching for a seat; you want to get that "perfect" seat without getting too close to anybody. This procedure and the choices must be made quickly lest you look confused and ill prepared. While the process is taking place, never let those already seated think that you are rejecting them or challenging their space; a tricky maneuver. I pulled it off no problem; I'm a pro.
And Al Pacino is a pro, too. He plays an old salty dog CIA instructor that "recruits" young stud James Clayton (Colin Farrell) who is the quintessential cool dude with his perpetual three day growth, shirt unbuttoned two down, necklace (leather), dark hair combed up, big watch on right wrist even though he is right handed, and oh yeah, a recent graduate of MIT (#1 in his class). Dell Computers is also "recruiting" young Clayton whose father died mysteriously in 1990 while working for Shell Oil ... or was it the CIA? The initial fun of this movie is the training of the wannabe spies with guns, bombs, lies, stalking, computers, and orientation of the first rule: "never get caught."
Pacino's character loves to remind the trainees that "...nothing is as it appears." More than half of the story involves the preparation of the new spooks at CIA's "farm." They have some neat spy stuff and I want some. When you see this movie, just remember that I own a miniature external hard drive that can be connected to a laptop USB just like the one used by the female love-interest agent Layla (Bridget Moynahan. I'm thinking about being a spy if my day job goes south.
This is a January movie; mild entertainment and no biggie. We are in a period that we must get through until the hype of the nominations and the impending Oscars on March 23rd. Then the next push for "big" movies begins Memorial weekend. You people need to see the movies that I have been touting and quit making excuses: "Gangs of New York" "The Pianist" About Schmidt" "The Hours" and "Chicago". I want you to be ready for the Sixth Annual Semi-Scientific Academy Awards Poll. See larryharrison.com for past results. Do not be one of those that invariably writes in for special permission to vote "even though I have not seen any of the nominated movies." We let any old fool vote; actually we encourage it, but we prefer an informed electorate. Meanwhile, go see this movie if you have caught up on all of your soon to be nominated movies and/or you secretly want to be a spy. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 88. Larry H.
As I stood in line to buy my ticket, I realized that of the approximately 12 people in line that I was the only man. All the other folks were middle aged women with lots of make-up. I had to go to the Edwards Grand Palace Stadium 24 near Compaq Center. Not showing at my Loew's or AMC. What up with that?
If you've heard that this movie has great performance, you heard right. I will not be surprised if all three ladies - Meryl Streep, Julianne Moore, and Nicole Kidman - were nominated for Best Actress. Three nominations from one movie must be some sort of record. None of them will win because they will cancel each other and Salma Heyek will win.
There were over 100 souls at this 11:45 AM showing and need I say that the vast majority were women. When the movie was over, I counted 10 sets (2-3 per set) of women who remained in their seats obviously reviewing and talking about the movie and some of them were gesturing and talking loudly and animatedly. This is a chick flick about chicks and the chicks in the audience needed some time to decompress. And talk about their mothers and such. In the future when you hear that a movie is a "chick flick" you probably will ask "...but is it as big a chick flick as 'The Hours?'" Not that there is any thing wrong with chick flicks. This is a superb movie and will garner many awards: director, screenplay, and supporting role by Ed Harris. And for you "West Wing" freaks, Allison "C. J." Janney plays Streep's live-in "friend."
I have spent too much time writing about everything but the story so here goes the short version: three stories - Nicole Kidman as the mad writer Virginia Woolf circa 1923 Richmond, England; Julianne Moore as Laura Brown the depressed housewife in 1951 LA and Meryl Streep as Clairssa Vaughn the sad Manhattan editor in 2001 ; editing/action moves smoothly between stories which I think is called "parallel moments" (combing hair, buying flowers, ...a kiss). Ed Harris is Streep's friend who has AIDS. And all three stories are enmeshed. Happiness, sadness, death, facades, love, abandonment, suicide, choices, motherhood, and relationships.
I did not love this movie, but I give it props as a work of art. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 93. Larry H.
Orchids "adapt" to their surroundings; Nicolas Cage plays twin brothers; Meryl Streep plays a writer; Chris Cooper....ah who gives a rat's foot. This movie is the pits. I started to walk out in the first ten minutes. Decided to at least wait until Streep showed up. I did not like the characters or the story. Nothing even slightly interesting or funny. Where's the delete button/trash bin when you need it? Popcorn unusually good; must have been hungry. Came back to the office so fast that it scared my legal assistant. Rock 'n Roll
Grade 69 W. Larry H.
This is not a movie about the Holocaust; it is THE movie about the Holocaust. I'm confident that I am overreacting because I am wont to do such things, but I think this movie is more of a masterpiece than "Schindler's List." Director Roman Polanski has told a story about this terrible human tragedy from the eyes of a young Jewish pianist who lives in Warsaw in 1939 and is playing the piano on the radio as the Nazi's bomb the city and march in to establish the German occupation and devastation of a country and a people.
At about fifteen minutes into the movie, I realized that the suffering and sadness that had already been inflicted on the pianist, his family, and the Jewish community was almost unbearable for me. I knew I was in for a very emotional experience since there were approximately two hours and fifteen minutes left in the movie and five years of the war. There is more brutality (close range pistol shots to the head for example) than "Schindler's List" but I never got the impression that Polanski was attempting to manipulate the audience; only to tell a deeply compelling story that involved incredible hatred pitted against the human spirit of survival.
I had three quick impressions and thoughts: 1. Monique H. should not see this movie; 2. Eric H. needs to see this movie; 3. Larry H. will probably see this movie again soon.
The pianist is Wladyslaw Szpilman (Adrien Brody) who was one of the premier musicians in 1939 Warsaw, Poland. He lived at home with his parents, brother and two sisters. All were rounded up by the German soldiers and herded to the "ghetto" where Jews were "assigned" to live and eventually sent of the labor/concentration camps for extermination. Szpilman's story is told in his book. Szpilman died July 6, 2000. He would have been impressed with Mr. Polanski's rendition.
I have heard that Adrien Brody is rumored to get a nomination for his performance. I say "no" because the movie is so powerful that I repeatedly thought during the movie "...I can't believe Polanski pulled that off in this scene" or "...the editing and dramatic changes of focus and emotions were outstanding." While Brody's acting is first class, it's the story and all the pieces that make this a great movie; not great acting. Sorry Adrien.
Polanski on the other hand will be remembered for this movie. And so will screenwriter Ronald Harwood, set and costume designer etc. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 95. Larry H.
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